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“He was,” Lexi mutters. “I could tell from his tone… from just him, Colt. It’s like he can’t stop himself from bragging. He has to do it, even if he knows it won’t end well for him. He thinks I should be scared, or impressed, or whatever fucked-up thing.”
I sit next to her, placing my hand on hers. “It’s okay. One way or another, it’s going to end. Part of me still wishes we did it my way, especially since he admitted to being a killer.”
“He’ll rot for the rest of his life. If they let him out early, I’ll be the one to pull the trigger.” When I tilt my head at her in shock, she raises an eyebrow, her beautifully contrasted eyes flaring with confidence. “I mean it. I’m not going to let him get away with this. You should’ve heard Mia when I told her. She sounded so impressed and jealous. I think she wanted to be the one to break his arm.”
I smirk, thinking back to his office, to quietly sliding into the room and then snapping his arm behind his back. Then I gave him one good stiff punch to the nose. Not very hard, but enough to let him understand how weak he is.
“He doesn’t know how lucky he is,” I say. “He’s got some Family men on him now, courtesy of Luca. I hope he tries to do something drastic and hurt somebody else. Then I’ll bury the prick.”
She reaches across Shadow and places her hand on my arm. She presses into me with a warm imprint of support. “You’re so supportive.”
“It’s you, Lexi. Being close to you, being with you, has changed me. I’m not even the same man I was last week. I can’t relate to him anymore, and the person I was before we met might as well never have lived. It’s all you.” I grit my teeth, trying to stop myself from saying it, but it just comes out.
Maybe it’s the past. Maybe it’s because, this time, I might be able to make it work.
“I can’t wait to have a family with you,” I murmur.
Lexi leans back slightly, her eyes widening, her mouth open slightly. For the first time, her mouth opening doesn’t take my mind to savage places. I’ve let out too much emotion.
“A family,” I repeat passionately.
She shifts away on the seat slightly. “Why?”
“What do you mean, why?”
“Why are you saying this now?” she snaps. “Because you feel bad for me?”
“Feel bad? What?”
Suddenly, she’s on her feet.
Lexi
It’s difficult to explain what’s happening right now, even to myself. It’s like some panic instinct in me is taking over. Everything can’t go right. He can’t give me everything I want. Do I even want this? Do I even want to be a mother? Do I want any of this?
I don’t want him. I need him, but my heart is beating way too hard. My head feels cloudy, my chest getting tight as if with the pressure of the future, the pressure of what it would mean, marrying, having kids. Yet where else do I think this is going to end?
“No,” he goes on, stepping forward, taking my hands, warm blossoms dancing over my skin. “I’m saying it because…” His expression falters. He swallows. “But you’re right. It’s too fast.”
“Because what?” I place my hand on his chest, feeling his heart pounding just as fast and hard as mine.
“I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t want to rush you. You can’t even go all the way with me. I shouldn’t bring this up, too.”
Is it fear turning to anger inside of me? There’s this alarm going off, almost like something is urging me to run. It’s like the little girl is inside of me, the one Ralph twisted up, and she doesn’t want to be trapped now that she’s finally escaped. Is that it?
“Don’t say it like that—can’t even go all the way. I’ve tried, Colt.”
“Don’t start analyzing my damn tone.”
Shadow grumbles as if saying, Don’t argue. “I’ll analyze anything I want,” I snap.
“I just want you to be happy,” he grunts, “and sometimes I speak too fast with you.”
“So, did you mean it or not?”
“How can you expect me to answer that when you’ve basically told me to go fuck myself?”
I snap, “I did not say that!”
Then I do something so cowardly. I turn and run for the door. The worst part is, I do it hoping he’ll follow me. I’ve got this grand, probably unfair image in my head of Colt chasing me, grabbing my wrist, turning me around, and kissing me. I feel his gaze on me as I go for the door, watching me as I disappear from his life.
Outside his apartment, I pause and turn, wondering if I should go back in. Then my phone vibrates. There’s a Family car out front—a red sedan. He can give you a ride home.
