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Maddox sat in silence, absorbing my every word. I looked down at the blue-and-white rug, planting my shoes firmly on the ground. I felt like I was going to launch off this couch and take to the skies at any second. Maybe it was an effect of flying on dragon-back, or it could have been the intense bout of nerves currently chewing at my ribs like trapped rodents.
“Did he drag you into it?” Maddox asked, clearly concerned. His eyes flitted to my forehead.
“No,” I answered. “No.”
There it was. The white lie.
I had to. I had just met Maddox. I was just learning to trust him. How could I be fully truthful with him? I couldn’t tell him that there was no friend. I couldn’t tell him that it was me who had become a Crimson Ring initiate. It was me who was trying to pay off the half-million-dollar debt that hung over my head.
“What happened to him?” Maddox asked.
“I don’t know,” I said, not wanting to dig this grave any deeper. I just wanted to get off this topic. “I wove an illusion spell in front of Kyler because I’m not sure how much they all know. If they’re still looking for him, then they could start chasing me down for information.”
I looked back up into those crystal-blue orbs. A stab of guilt slipped through my shoulders, twisting. This didn’t feel right. This choice I made tasted sour, every word coming up like spoiled milk.
And then Maddox threw me a lifeline. He shifted the conversation. “I’m sorry you were ever even in their periphery. That group poisons anything they touch. I’m just glad you didn’t get involved.”
The blade of guilt yanked out of my back and plunged back in.
“And even if you had been, I still would have understood. The shit you’ve been through, that’s more than even a dragon is capable of handling. When I lost my mother in the dragon fall, I thought I’d come completely undone. I lost myself. In alcohol and sex, just turning my nights and days into one big blur. I didn’t want to slow down. Didn’t want to think about how the world still spun even though my mom wasn’t here. That shit was the most fucked-up part. How could everyone continue to act like normal when such a massive hole was made in my chest?”
Maddox looked ahead, eyes settling on a large tapestry hanging on the wall.
“My mother made that,” he said, admiring it. The expertly woven piece of art depicted a lake surrounded by deer and rabbit, with a golden dragon flying high in the sky, molten gold scales being reflected in the serenely calm waters being fed by a snaking river. “I sometimes wonder what kind of work, what kind of art, we’re missing out on when someone passes. It doesn’t seem fair.”
“No, it really doesn’t,” I agreed. “But life continues; it doesn’t stop, doesn’t alter course. It’s like a river in that way. We’re the pebbles in the water, life mostly happening around us until one day we become dislodged and thrown halfway down toward the ocean. Everything around us changes, but all of the other pebbles stay right where they are.”
Maddox shifted on the couch. His leg rested against mine. It was a point of touch that instantly set me on high alert, aware of every breath, every blink.
“What was he like,” he asked after a moment of quiet. “You’re brother?”
The question made my stomach lurch. As if a fist just landed hard in my gut. I swallowed down emotion that tried to bubble up from place I worked to keep it locked-up in.
“Micky was so funny. One of the funniest people, even to this day. He had a joke for everything, and he knew how to tell them, too. He loved dogs, and he was absolutely shit-terrified of cats. He wouldn’t do great with Bambi at all.”
“Sounds like you two were really close.”
“He was my best friend. I never imagined not having him around. It all happened so fast. I have powers that people think are a blessing, but every time I use them they feel like a curse.”
I leaned back and sunk into the fluffy white pillows. They did nothing to ease the tension coiled in my neck and shoulders.
“I’m sorry… Are you okay with continuing on the case?” Maddox asked me, voice sincere.
I answered without missing a beat. “Absolutely.” I straightened my back, cracked my knuckles. “If anything, it makes me even more determined to find the paintings.”
“Okay, good, because I’ve liked having you at my side on this.”
His smile spread to me. A surprising heat flushed up my neck, spreading across my face. Shit. Was I blushing? What the fuck?
“We do make a decent team,” I said, hoping my cheeks didn’t look like two ripe strawberries. “When you’re not holding a blade of ice against my neck, that is.”
