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Sky was no longer in survival mode and could follow all the dreams she put on hold to raise Cam. That led her back to school, studying to become a lactation specialist.
“Black moms still attempt breastfeeding at significantly lower rates than most other racial groups. It’s not enough to get more black women to breastfeed. They need support from people who understand them. From people like me.”
Sky was used to over-explaining herself, so she felt like she needed to sell me on going back to school. She was still unlearning a lot of shit, but I was patient. We had a lifetime, so there was no rush to figure everything out today. Sky was trying, and that’s all I asked.
“Come here.” My eyes were already closed, but I could hear her closing her laptop and climbing off the floor to join me on the couch. “Stop being so hard on yourself.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.” Sky knew it and didn’t fight me any further.
“So, if you have to take fewer classes next term, do that, and stop stressing. Otherwise, Cam and I are moving out.”
“You and Cam?” She chuckled.
“Hell yeah. You can stay here and be crazy by your damn self.”
“Wow, I thought it was for better or worse.”
“We aren’t married yet,” I joked, causing her to lift like a newborn learning to hold their head.
“Take her. I’ll be living my best single life.”
“Yeah, right. Your ass would lose your mind without Cam.”
“So would you.”
“Then I guess you better get your shit together.”
I could hear her ruminating that if she did that, it would take her longer to finish school. More survival bullshit she was working to let go of. Having so much freedom without the fear of her world falling apart was still new, and sometimes, she needed to be reeled back.
Today, that meant making Sky lie on the couch while rubbing her back until we both fell asleep. She woke up to pick up Cam at some point, but I couldn’t be sure when. I was so tired I didn’t feel her leave, but I heard Cam’s voice when the door opened.
“Mack Attack!”
“Camdyn, New Jersey!” She laughed so hard that she temporarily forgot where she was, throwing her book bag to the floor, eager to get to me.
“Um! Get that bookbag up!” Sky fussed because she had thrown it on the floor, ready to take off toward me.
Cam huffed, dramatically scooping her bookbag.
“Aye, don’t disrespect your mother and fix that attitude.” As much as I spoiled Cam, Mommy was the queen of this castle, and I made that known because it was just as important for me to show up for Cam as it was for her to watch her mother get treated with respect.
“Yes sir,” she huffed, in her feelings because somehow it felt much harsher when I got on her than Sky. Cam and her hurt feelings joined me on the couch, sitting on me like she was still the toddler I met years ago.
Grabbing her cheek, I planted a big kiss that made her smile again. “Where is New Jersey?”
“Near New York.”
“Where’s New York?” Cam asked.
“Maybe if you remember not to put your bookbag on the floor, I’ll take you to New York and New Jersey.”
“Deal!” Cam nodded. She was intrigued by New Jersey after learning there was a Camden there, too.
“How was school today?”
“Good. MiMi brought me lunch,” she boasted, referring to my mother, who was enjoying life as a grandma. Much like me, there was no step involved because Sky wasn’t close with her mother, and I had never heard her mention Marcus’s mother.
