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The way he leaned back in his seat, giving me the floor, made me incredibly nervous. His eyes weren’t filled with love and admiration. They were hollow and cold, causing me to clam up.
“When I was sixteen, my mom put me out. I bounced around, staying with friends until that ran its course, too.” I thought I left all my tears in the shower, but new ones were growing, causing my voice to fade into a whisper. “I was on the street. I dropped out of school. I had nothing. Nobody was there or tried to be until I met him.”
“Marcus?” Mack asked.
I shook my head no, trying to gather the strength to utter his name.
“Duke.”
“We met outside of a local diner. He offered me a meal and seemed like a nice guy at first. He said he would look out for me, and in the beginning, he did. He moved me into his apartment and helped me enroll in a GED program. It was the first time it felt like God heard me, but it wasn’t God. There’s no way God created somebody like him,” I replied.
That vein on the side of his face ticked at the idea of anyone hurting me because, despite being angry, there was still love there.
“It started with simple things like going on dates with his friends and keeping them company. It was innocent at first, going to dinner and fancy parties. He promised I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to until.”
Mack begged for the truth, but it didn’t look like he considered what that would sound like until now. The truth wasn’t pretty or easy for him to digest as he shifted in the oversized chair.
“Warren wanted what he paid for when we got to the hotel, and I flipped out. I grabbed the first thing I could and hit him with it. He died, and Duke took care of it, but never let me forget that I’d be in jail if it weren’t for him, but that was just another way to control me.”
Hindsight allowed me to see everything I didn’t at the time. The signs were there, but I was eager to belong to something or someone. I was desperate to feel love because I was just a little girl who needed her mother—a woman trying to find her way and survive.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he set me and Warren up. Duke thrived off control, and once that happened, he had me. It wasn’t like I had anywhere else to go. He knew that, too, so for a while, things calmed down. Then he wanted more girls. Girls like me, so I helped him.”
I paused and continued in a sinking tone while Mack stared at me intently. I don’t even think he had blinked since I started rambling.
“It was four others. To my knowledge, they were just like me—girls nobody wanted. Then I saw one of them on a missing poster and realized they weren’t like me. They had families out there looking for them. I couldn’t do it anymore, but I knew Duke. I had to have a plan, so I played along for a while. I made him trust me, and then one day, I let them go, and we all ran.”
A flash of grief ripped through me. Although I had done the right thing, I wondered how they were doing. If they recovered from the time I helped Duke steal from them. If they were just as damaged as me because this was the first time I’d thought about them in years.
“I guess I didn’t learn my lesson because the cycle repeated itself. I met Marcus and thought no, this is it. He was so amazing at first. Thoughtful. Understanding. I felt comfortable enough to tell him about my past. Things were good until I got pregnant, and everything changed. He used everything I told him against me.”
I dropped my lashes to hide the pain in my eyes.
“I promised myself I would never give anyone the chance to do that again, so I tucked it away. It was the only way I could wake up every day and take care of Cam. I’d look at her and question why God gave somebody so innocent to me. I didn’t have a mother, so I didn’t know how to be one, but I tried.”
I shrugged, biting my lip to control the sobs. When I found out I was pregnant, I thought about getting an abortion. I had no business being anyone’s mother, but Marcus begged me not to. He promised to be there every step of the way. Those were all lies, but maybe God had to use drastic measures to keep my baby.
After all, Camdyn was the only reason I was still here. I never wanted her to feel alone or that nobody wanted her, so I couldn’t leave this earth even though some days I wanted to.
“I tried so hard every day because Cam didn’t see any of that when she looked at me. I knew she deserved better, and that wasn’t her parents together.”
Reaching the end of my story, a sourness in my stomach made me feel sick.
“Marcus became abusive. Mostly Emotional and verbal. A few times physical. It was bad, so I took Cam and left because as much as I loved her, I never wanted her to be anything like me. I danced because I wasn’t qualified to do anything else. Then Prince trained me to bartend, so I didn’t have to anymore. Yes, it sounds insane that I’d accept your proposal if I couldn’t trust you with all of this, but nobody has ever protected me. I had to protect myself. The end.”
I thought sharing my story was the most nerve-wracking thing, but it was this. Concluding my story and waiting for Mack’s response was worse because I didn’t know what to expect.
“What part of that did you think I wouldn’t understand?” Mack’s question caused my head to tilt because I expected something different after bearing my deepest secrets.
“All of it,” I responded slowly, trying to figure out where he was going with this.
“Why?”
“Why what?” I asked, confused about what he was trying to get at.
“Nothing, Skylar.” Mack got up and began moving through the house, so I hopped down and followed him.
I was so angry that I had shared the hardest parts of my life, only for him to reply, ‘Nothing, Skylar.’ It wasn’t rage at all but fear that my worst nightmare was happening.
