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I tell her all the details between August and me, no holding back this time from any detail I might've spared her from the first time I mentioned his name. I tell her all about our shared history... the time when his mother split us up. I tell her what it was like to see him again at the hospital after all those years. I tell her about his apologies. I tell her about how I felt at the theater after he hired it for me and how he invited her and Faith along.
And I tell her about last night. About how perfect it felt. About us making love. I make sure it’s pretty tame, but Diana makes sure to cover Faith’s ears for that part.
And I find myself starting to cry. I let out all the emotions I’ve kept bottled in for all these years. I cry about August – both the good things and the bad things.
I don’t realize how cathartic it is until I’m pouring out the words.
And I tell Diana about this morning. About Alda arriving. About her finding me in bed. About me running away and how I came straight here.
“I should’ve listened to my gut,” I say as tears roll down my face. “August and I don’t belong together. I always forget that, and then it bites me in the ass. It happened at the airport all those years ago, and it happened again this morning.”
Diana hands me a box of tissues. I take my time to wipe away the tears and I finish the lovely mug of Faith’s coffee.
“That’s terrible,” Diana remarks.
“Yeah,” I say. “What a morning it’s been. I feel like I’m caught in a web. A big, fat, old, messy, emotional web.”
“What are you going to do?” Diana finally asks me.
I sigh again.
“I’m going to see August, and I’m going to tell him that his mother was right all those years ago and that we really can’t be together.”
“Even when you both feel so strongly toward each other?”
“Yes,” I say. “Even though it feels like we should be together, we can’t. The world doesn’t work that way. I’ve just gotta face that fact.”
“Okay,” Diana replies. “Well, Faith and I support you, no matter what. We’re here for you, isn’t that right, Faith?”
Her daughter nods from the kitchen table.
“Yes, we do, Emma. We’re here for you.”
“See?” Diana asks me. “You have plenty of love. So, you’re going to give that August Penmayne a piece of your mind?”
“I am, but first,” I announce. “I’m going to go to the hospital. My mom has her operation today, and I need to be there for her.”
70
AUGUST
“How’s my favorite patient going?”
I step into the operating room and deliberately put all my worries aside - all that shit to do with this morning with Mother and Emma...
All of what’s weighing on my heart is deliberately forgotten about, and I make sure that I’mherenow.
Here at the most important operation of my life.
“Hello, Doctor,” Ethan says as he lies on the operating table surrounded by nurses and other medical staff.
All that matters right now is Ethan Parker.
I look over at his parents standing by his bedside and give them a wink.
“Feeling good?” I ask the boy.
He gives me a thumbs-up.
