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Mom is waiting for me outside the main gates of the mansion estate by the time I get there. I can spot her familiar figure from a mile away, but what really takes a moment to sink in is the sight of all our belongings packed up in bags that surround her outside the gates.
Wow. Already? Gotta hand it to her – Alda works fast.
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
It’s all I can say when I finally reach her. My knees hurt from all the walking and I’m totally out of breath.
Mom stares at me. She’s been waiting for me to show up.
She must’ve been waiting for a long time.
“I’m fired,” she whispers to me, her voice cracking.
I gesture weakly at the bags around her feet.
“I guessed so. Did Alda deliver the news, or did she get one of her goons to inform you?”
“She just swooped in and told me my employment is terminated, effective immediately.”
“Oh.”
“You were with that Penmayne boy?” Mom asks me sternly. It’s bordering on an accusation.
There’s no point lying to her.
“Yes, Mom.”
“Okay.”
She goes quiet as she processes it all. She’s at a loss for words. I don’t blame her.
“I’m sorry,” I continue earnestly. “This is all my fault. I screwed up.”
“I didn’t know...”
“I was stupid and in love,” I explain. “I thought things might end like this, but I was in denial. I thought things would turn out...different.”
She takes in a deep breath and wipes a tear from her eye.
“The Penmayne boy?”
“I thought he loved me,” I say softly.
All the energy drains from me. All the hope – all the love I had stored up from yesterday’s trip.
“We’re going to have to leave this town,” Mom says stoically, clearly wanting to move on. “We’ll have to do it right now. No one will want us here after what’s happened and when word spreads. We’ll find no work in Crystal River when the Penmaynes control everything. Guaranteed.”
She’s not even angry - she doesn’t tell me off for what I’ve done, even though being fired the way she has been would be so traumatic. Mom knew nothing about August and me, but I bet Alda did not treat her well at all when she confronted her. And yet she’s not raising her voice to me.
And somehow that’s even worse. Somehow that breaks my heart even harder than if she screamed or yelled or caused a scene here outside the tall mansion walls.
She’s not angry with me, she’s just so, so disappointed.
And I want to break down and cry in the dirt until I have nothing left. But I’m going to stay strong for her. I’m now an adult, and I have to deal with my shit before I can afford the luxury of wallowing in my broken heart.
I know Mom is right – we do have to leave Crystal River now and never return – but I can’t help thinking about the little life I’ve built up here. Irina and the ballet class. My friends at high school. All flushed down the drain.
And my relationship with the Penmayne boy who loves me...
