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“Oh, lovely. Tell me all the gossip. I want to hear everything.”
“Well, he’s tall,” Diana replies. “Taller than me in high heels.”
“Good bonus.”
“Handsome.”
“Big tick.”
“And he’snice, Emma. So freaking nice.”
“Another good bonus.”
“You would actually like him.”
“You believe so?” I ask.
“And he offered to pay for the meal,” Diana continues. “When I did the obligatory objection, he told me I can get the meal next time, and, oh, Ireallyliked that. He’s a smooth operator, Emma. I think I won’t be able to resist the charm offensive he’s operating. I’ll crumble at the first sign of trouble.”
“And is there going to be anext time, do you think?” I interrogate cheekily. “Is his charm offensive actually working?”
“A lady never tells.”
“Oh, I see,” I reply. “Being deliberately cryptic. That’s so unlike you, Diana.”
There’s a little giggle from the next stall.
I get up from the toilet and carefully wipe away the sweat that’s been building on my forehead. I hear the restroom door swing open and the telltale sounds of someone marching in to use the toilet and ignoring all the signs saying that we aren’t open for business.
I step out of the stall to see a female patient confidently strolling in through the barricade Diana and I have lovingly created to keep exactlythissituation from happening.
“Sorry,” I say to the lady. “We’re cleaning at the moment, but there’s a free restroom on the level above. It’s easy to get to from here.”
The woman grunts at me.
“I’m using this now,” she growls, trying to sidestep past me.
“We have signs outside saying the restroom is currently closed for cleaning,” I say, a little more firmly this time.
“I’m not going upstairs,” the woman replies. “I’m staying here. Get out of the way.”
I shrug my shoulders and gesture back to the stall.
“Suit yourself,” I say. “Feel free to use the toilet if you want but, just so you are aware, there’s a whole layer of human shit all over the floor you’ll have to step in. Hope that matches your high standards.”
The woman’s eyes widen at that, and she silently storms out. I hear her cursing under her breath – obviously directed at me - once she’s out of the restroom.
I turn to Diana’s stall.
“What a bitch,” she remarks from behind the door.
“You heard all that?” I ask, shouting over the stall.
“Yep.”
“I really hate cleaning toilets,” I say.
“Oh, I’m totally there with you, girl. Let’s clean up this shit and get out of here ASAP.”
