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“What is this, August?” I ask, my voice shaking. “What have you given me?”
“What do you think they are, Emma? They are a gift. I listened to what you told me yesterday, and I was compelled to get them for you. I want you to have them.”
“I can’t have this,” I whisper back to the impossible man. “I can’t accept them, even if they are a gift.”
“Well, technically, they aren’t a gift in the full sense of the word,” August replies with a smirk.
“What do you mean?” I ask, completely confused.
“I want you to pay me back for them,” he says. “I spent a hell of a lot of money on those, so I need something in return. They are brand new, after all.”
“I don’t have any money, August,” I reply. “I did tell you that yesterday. I can’t pay you back for them. Not for, like, a million years.”
August reaches out and holds my hands that grip around the shoes. He holds me tight. He brings me into him.
“The way you can pay me back for them is for you to dance for me again,” he says.
“What are you talking about?” I ask, incredulous. “You want me to dance? For you?”
“How about a private show in one of the empty rooms here in the hospital?” August suggests. “The same way you like it. How about next week? I want it to be professional. I want you to practice for it. I want you to actually choreograph a routine and perform for me in a way that you are proud of.”
“You really want me to do that?” I ask. “Dancefor you?”
August stares at me with his gorgeous blue eyes.
“Yes, Emma,” he replies softly. “I do.”
I think about it for a moment. He really wants me to go ahead and perform for him? An audience of one... an audience of a man I once loved... an audience for a man whose feelings for I am utterly confused by.
“Yes,” I reply to the man I love to kiss. “I’ll do it. I’ll dance for you, August.”
57
EMMA
I connect my small portable speaker wirelessly to my phone and take a long look around the empty hospital room. I couldn’t have picked a better space for what I’m about to do - it is just the right size for my little show for August.
I’m wearing a simple ballet costume – a black leotard, tights, and August’s ballet shoes.
I’m doing all this for him. I guess I don’t hate him.
But there’s still a part of me that urges caution. There’s still wariness tucked inside my soul.
Have I gone back into this too quickly?
Have I fallen for lust, and have completely disregarded any logic?
I don’t want to have my heart crushed again.
My head – and my heart – is a mess. I can’t think straight, especially not when August is around. He makes me feel like a happy teenager again. His mere presence takes away all the stress and worries and pain of my day-to-day normal life.
He makes me feel free.
He makes me feel loved.
He’s pursuing me.
Can I really listen to logic when he makes me feel like that?
