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Clay exhales. “I tried when we first went to LA. He didn’t respond to my texts or my messages.”
This is the first I’ve heard of it. The idea that Clay was too ashamed or hurt to tell me makes my chest ache. “Then try again. Things change.”
“Oh yeah?” Clay hits pause on the game and turns toward me.
He shifts an elbow along the back of the couch and I jump, dropping my controller.
We both reach for it at the same time, our fingers brushing.
His knuckles are big, his hand twice the size of mine. He could easily grab two controllers in his palm, but right now, his thumb rests across the back of my hand.
“So, you and basketball. You’re still taking a break?”
His dark eyes move across mine, searching. “Looks that way.”
I’m aware of every nerve in my body. The ones he’s lighting up with his simple touch, the ones I wish he was.
“It’s only a break if it ends,” I say. “Otherwise, it’s just a breakup.”
He leans back against the couch. “We still talking about basketball, Pink?”
My heartbeat is unsteady, as if I’m dancing instead of sitting perfectly still.
It would be so easy in this moment to say I want him back, want us back.
I move closer. An inch, maybe two.
My gaze drifts to his mouth and he inhales.
Clay shifts off the couch in a graceful move, straightening to tower over me. “I should go.”
“What about the game?” My throat is dry.
He glances toward the PlayStation as if seeing it for the first time. “Tell Brooke she can hang on to it.”
14
CLAY
The next two days, I pick up Coach and take him to Kodiak Camp. It feels good, playing even though it’s not full out.
Word gets around. The video the kid filmed the first day winds up on the internet. Soon, a bunch of Kodiak Camp staff and alum are by the court at ten in the morning when Coach and I roll up.
It’s good to have the distraction from Nova.
Seeing her the other day at Brooke’s, sitting next to her, touching her—all of it affected me.
I had to get the hell out of there or give in to temptation.
Not to say temptation didn’t return when I was lying in bed that night.
I did what any guy trying to play it cool would do.
Listened to old voicemails and scrolled her social media until I gave up and jerked off to the only woman I ever really loved.
These past few days, I’ve started to feel human again.
It’s as if I’m thawing after a long-ass winter.
