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I rolled my eyes. “I don’t want to look a little bit gay. I want to look like me.” We finally both settled on a pair of jeans and the super tight, slightly shimmery black shirt I’d worn to the club we went to on his birthday the previous year. My chest and arms were bigger, so it was even tighter than it had been before. I wasn’t completely comfortable, but I humored him. It was his birthday, after all. He messed with my hair, I refused to let him put make-up on me, and when we both agreed I was ready, we headed out to meet Caitlin and Jeff.
???
Caitlin held my arm too tightly as she skipped our group toward the door of Club Adonis. Her hair was in a high ponytail, and she kind of looked like a modern-day go-go dancer in her thigh-high boots and striped mini skirt. She looked adorable, honestly, and she was as visibly excited as Jesse was.
I was obviously not visibly excited, because Jeff leaned toward me and whispered, “You’re fine, dude. It’s ok for straight guys to go places like this, you know. Relax. Let’s get some drinks and have fun with our friends.”
I just nodded, but I felt like my stomach was about to work its way up my throat. I felt suffocated by my shirt. Why had I agreed to the stupid shirt, anyway?
We got past the bouncer and stepped into a darkened, open room, the only lights the ones on the stage, and some dim lights on the walls. It was bright enough to see the other patrons, but not well. It was fairly busy, probably because it was a Friday night. The room was mostly full of men who were older than us, but there were a few around our age, and some girls scattered throughout the room with groups. I didn’t see anyone I knew, and I thanked my lucky stars for that.
There was a guy on the stage, dancing in a G-string. People were watching him, some crowding around the stage and giving him money. A few put money right into that G-string. I was not going to do that, even if the birthday boy asked me to. I let out a nervous breath as we found a table that wasn’t right up on the stage, but still close enough that Jesse would be able to see everything well. Too close, in my opinion, but whatever.
A shirtless waiter in tight leather pants came over to get our drink order. Jeff ordered a round of shots for everyone, on him. With a laugh, he added a double for me, as well as a pitcher of beer. He was obviously determined to loosen me up a little bit. Good luck, Jeff.
I glanced around nervously. There were two older men at the table next to us, sitting close to each other and obviously having a good time. For some reason, they looked over at our table and one of them felt the need to speak to us in the middle of the dance that was happening onstage. “Have you all been here before?” They were both smiling at us and seemed nothing but welcoming of our motley little group of excited, indifferent, and nervous people.
We all shook our heads as Caitlin piped up, “No, we’re here for his birthday, and we just recently found out about this place.” She pointed at Jesse, who grinned.
“Well happy birthday!” the man said, “It fell on the perfect night. Raven is dancing tonight. You missed his first set, and his thing is that he only does one actual strip tease per night, but don’t worry, he’s still going to dance. I personally think that’s the club’s way of getting more people to come early. Regardless, he’s positively beautiful, and he’s an absolute angel on the pole. Most of the guys who work here, as good looking as they all are, barely know how to use it, but you’re in for a real treat.”
Great. I hoped Jesse was happy, at least. Since he looked like a kid in a candy store, I’d wager he was. I attempted a polite smile but didn’t respond to the guys beside us. Jesse and Caitlin, however, were clapping and bouncing excitedly in their seats at the news. I refrained from rolling my eyes at them. The waiter appeared at our table carrying a tray full of drinks. I downed the double shot as soon as he sat it down, then ordered a whisky and Coke. As soon as the waiter disappeared, I downed my regular shot and poured myself a glass of beer. I knew I’d probably end up sick from mixing my alcohol, but the occasion called for me to get hammered. I glanced up to find Jeff watching me, and he snickered.
The guy onstage finally finished his dance and headed backstage, and I saw Caitlin and Jesse whispering excitedly to each other, giggling and happy. Even Jeff seemed to be having an ok time. Meanwhile, I had a bead of sweat across my forehead and was hoping my shirt was dark enough that there were no pit stains visible. I took a sip of my beer, and the waiter reappeared with the drink I’d ordered right as “Raven” was announced.
The moment Raven walked onto that stage was the moment my perfectly crafted world crashed around my feet.
“Oh…my…God!” Caitlin practically squealed.
Jesse’s jaw was nearly on the table. “There is no way in gay heaven that this is actually happening right now,” he whispered loudly.
“Uh…” was all Jeff said, but then they all looked at me, like I knew, or it was my fault or something.
Caitlin spoke again. “Well, I guess we were slightly off with the ballet thing. But this is so much better.”
I wasn’t even looking at them anymore. My eyes were focused on the stage. On Raven. Raven, in knee high platform boots and a pair of booty shorts with a sequined crotch and mesh stripes that stretched all the way around, leaving very little to the imagination. I was looking at the long, lean body with the lithe limbs of solid muscle. I was looking at the black curls that were a little tamer than they normally were, at the face that was painted with a little more shimmer than I was used to, but I was still looking at Jamie. And at the pearl choker I’d given him two days before.
Right before the music started, Jamie glanced out at the audience. I never knew if it was just to assess the night’s crowd, or if he’d somehow heard my friends freaking out. Whatever the reason, even with the lights so dim in the room and the stage lights on him, his dark-rimmed eyes landed right on our table. Right on mine. At least, it sure seemed like his eyes were on my own, which were probably about to fall right out of my head, onto my jaw that was probably almost on my lap. He paused for just a second, not even noticeable if you weren’t looking for it, and a brief flicker of surprise crossed his face. The look disappeared as quickly as it had come. The music started, and he stalked over to the pole, grabbing it with both hands and starting to spin as he climbed it gracefully, even in those boots I could never have walked in.
The audience was going crazy throughout the entire song, the men who’d spoken to us absolutely delighted. And maybe we hadn’t been as far off as Caitlin had thought, because what Jamie was doing up there was definitely a form of art. When he dropped down the pole suddenly, my heart dropped with him while everyone else cheered. How did he catch himself like that, with the back of a knee? I could see as I watched him where the muscle came from, because I highly doubted that even with my hard-earned physique I’d be able to hold myself up and swing around that pole like he was. I definitely wouldn’t be able to do the splits like…that.
I swallowed hard. At least my friends weren’t looking at me right then. Even Jeff seemed mesmerized by the pole dance. I could have sworn, though, that a couple of times Jamie did look at me.
He danced on the floor of the stage when the next song came on, just like the other guy had, except somehow even more…suggestively. Guys were swarming up there with money in their hands while Jamie gave them plenty of ways to imagine him as they jacked off. The platform boots really suited him somehow, and they were helping to confuse the already jumbled thoughts in my brain. My eyes kept zeroing in on the tattoo on his side, over his ribs. That must have hurt. It covered his entire right side, a phoenix rising dramatically amongst flames. It looked really good on his tan skin. In fact, all of his skin looked really good. I couldn’t take my eyes off him as he writhed in front of all those men who were desperately throwing money at him. He was back on the pole for the third song. The entire set was the most erotic thing I’d ever seen, and that was kind of saying a lot. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.
I wanted to yell at Caitlin when she turned to me with that knowing look, still wearing those damn flamingo earrings like they were some kind of testament to our secret. Something on my face must have triggered her empathy, though, because she looked away again almost as soon as her eyes met mine. I hated to think of what she’d seen there when she looked at me. Thankfully, she couldn’t see the more important things I was trying to hide as I adjusted in my seat again. I pulled at my collar as I wished someone could direct some air conditioning at me. Why was it so hot in this club?
I downed the whisky and Coke in one go and poured myself another glass of beer as Jamie finished his third song to whooping and whistling, collecting money like the boss he obviously was. He smiled flirtatiously at the crowd, and it didn’t flicker as he threw one more glance our way before walking off the stage.
“Well,” Jesse said, fanning himself dramatically, “I told you guys he was hot.”
“Okay,” Jeff said, looking at Jesse with a grin, “I’m still leaving here straight tonight, but even I have to admit there was a lot of talent in that.”
“Yes,” Caitlin giggled, “Talent and a whole lot more in that package.”
I would have rolled my eyes at her double entendre if I hadn’t been so shaky and uncomfortable right then.
They were looking at me again, but I was heavily avoiding eye contact. “Sorry,” Jeff finally spoke up, “I bet it was weird seeing your friend up there.” You could say that. I glanced at him but didn’t say anything. They all mercifully looked away from me and back to the stage, but not before sharing a glance with each other.
