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“Yes,that,” she says, her lips forming a flat line as if she’s disappointed about something.
“So, you want me to go to the clinic with you?” I click on my computer. “We’d have to schedule it between—”
“I think…” she begins but then she turns mute.
“You think what? Next month or? I mean, I don’t know what your cycle is like.”
She makes a sound like she’s choking on something, but instead of fighting through it, she tilts her eyes up to the ceiling. It’s a sign that she’s looking for strength to say something she feels like she needs more than normal courage for.
I’m all fucking ears right now, hopeful that she has a different idea of the way she wants this to go.
“I was thinking that we could do it, you know… the way that saves money.”
I bite my bottom lip for two reasons. One, I don’t want to smile because I know it will give her the wrong idea. She’ll think I’m laughing at her. Two, I’m seconds away from yipping for joy.
“Sex? You want to have sex with me?”
Her eyes widen. “No!”
I deflate like a balloon.
“I mean, yes, but to get pregnant. Not like have… you know.”
I fight the urge to tell her that she needs to be able to say it if that’s what we’re going to do, but I have to quickly remind myself that this isn’t going to be a wild time. I’ll be there to give her what she needs. This isn’t about me. Well, it’s not supposed to be about me, but I know I’m going to have a hell of a time. I just have to keep enough control to not utterly devastate her with the way I like things.
“So, we have sex the normal way?” I clarify.
“I think there needs to be rules.”
Of course you do, I think, but on the outside, all she sees is a smile.
“Come on, pull them out.”
“What?”
“I know you have a piece of paper shoved in your pocket. Let’s hear the rules.”
She glares at me. “Good to know you think I’m predictable.”
I open my mouth to argue, but she pulls her phone from a small clutch.
“I typed them into my phone,” she says, as if that makes any damn difference.
I continue to fight my smile as she clears her throat.
“Before you begin, tell me why this way instead of going to the clinic.”
“To save money,” she answers quickly, a little too quickly, and it piques my interest.
“That’s all? We can do the whole turkey baster. We don’t have to have sex.”
I swear if I just shot myself in the foot for saying that…
“I looked that up and there’s a better chance of getting pregnant if you umm… you know.”
I blink at her, refusing to let her umm her way out of this.
“Orgasm,” she says on a thick swallow.
