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“Okay.”
Four letters, two simple syllables, yet it feels like a thunderstorm inside of me, a storm that leaves only destruction in its wake.
His agreement shouldn’t surprise me. Cash has always been quick to take the same side I do, but I think there was a part of me, hidden deep among all the hurt and bad choices, that wanted him to speak up and fight for what we shared. I want him to make confessions, to tell me secrets, that he has loved me for years and that he won’t survive losing that part of me.
I always seem to ask for too much, however, and his silence speaks volumes about where his head is at right now.
“I get off early today,” he says, his voice monotone and lifeless. “Maybe we could hang out.”
I can’t tell if it’s a lifeline because of guilt he may feel or if he’s just using those words to fill the void between us.
“I’m helping Harper finalize the fundraiser this afternoon,” I tell him honestly. “I figured Eastyn would’ve said something to you about it.”
“She didn’t tell me you were helping,” he says, and it’s like a jagged blade across my skin.
Eastyn has been to the bakery several times to grab the guys cupcakes in the last couple of weeks. She mentioned last week about helping Harper. Had Harper told me about her plans to invite Eastyn along, I probably would’ve declined, but it was before my “no” era began. I may be that way going forward, but I wouldn’t feel right about backing out of prior obligations.
“What about dinner with your folks this week?”
I open my mouth to lie, but he continues.
“I ran in to Robin at the grocery store two days ago. She promised that tonight she’ll stick to a tried-and-true recipe.”
I chuckle because that’s what’s expected of me, but I feel a little bulldozed right now. I can’t heal and allow some scabs toform over that part of me that let myself imagine a life with this man if people in my life keep interfering.
“I’ll see you tonight, then,” I say. “I have cold stuff that I really need to get back to the bakery.”
It takes everything I have to fight tears when he leans over and presses his lips to my temple.
“See ya soon, Ads.”
My vision is hazy with tears all the way through town, but I have to keep the car straight because he follows me all the way back to the bakery, flashing his lights for a few seconds before driving away.
Chapter 29
Cash
I’m not exactly a helpless man, but I’ve always looked forward to the meals I share with Adalynn and her family. Not only do I get to spend time with her, but I’m less inclined to cook for myself. I’ve eaten mostly sandwiches and cereal these last couple of weeks.
I knew Adalynn was avoiding me, but I’m over that shit. When Robin invited me to dinner, I only hesitated, to give Ads the space she clearly wanted, for a second. I figured it was fate stepping in and reminding me that what we have is special even if it won’t include all the extracurricular fun we were allowed for a little over a week.
I’m doubting fate just as quickly when it’s almost time for my shift to end and Chandler stands in the doorway of my office.
The look in his red eyes tells me everything. The man had to bring his father home from the hospital on hospice in the middle of last week. His cancer returned almost two months ago, and there was just nothing that could be done.
I’m a strong man, but when he clears his throat to unclog the emotion lodged there, my own eyes burn.
“He’s gone,” he whispers. “I just couldn’t stay home. The funeral home came and got him, and it was just too quiet.”
I nod as I walk across the room to him, forgetting all the bravado that men are supposed to have. Bruce Jacobs treated me like a son the second Chandler started working at the police station. If I had to explain my chosen family, the Jacobs men wouldn’t be very far behind the Tates and Adalynn’s stepfather, Charlie Gibson.
He wraps his arms around me, his chest shuddering with a sob.
Much too quickly, he takes a step back, swiping an angry hand at the tears on his cheeks.
“He’d be pissed to see me so upset.”
“He wouldn’t,” I quickly argue. “He’d know how much he’s loved.”
