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“I should probably take the time to think. I’ve been avoiding thinking all week.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” He wasn’t going to push the issue, but Zach was looking as though he might be ready to actually spill rather than avoid it.
“I don’t know.” Zach dropped his head down again. “It’s not like I can do anything to fix it other than man up and tell my family.”
“Do you think they’d take it badly?” They’d been friends for a while, so Brian knew a little about Zach’s family, but he’d never met them, and it wasn’t like they’d had deep conversations about whether or not their families were homophobic. Brian tended to avoid talking about his childhood and his family, so he didn’t ask questions about anyone else’s. Everything he knew about Zach’s were things Zach had said in passing.
“I don’t know,” Zach said again, even more morosely this time. “I mean, yeah, I know how they vote, and they say they support gay rights and everything, but I also remember my dad being super pissed off when my sister dressed me up and put makeup on me as a kid. My mom… she doesn’t mean to be rude, but she just doesn’t get a lot of stuff. Again, she’ll say people should be able to love who they love, but she also complains about all the changes to ‘that pronoun stuff.’ So, I don’t know. I just don’t know.” And the not knowing was clearly the hardest part for him.
Brian didn’t entirely know how to sympathize because it’s not like either of his parents had cared enough about him to care what his sexuality or gender identity was. But if his grandma was still alive, and he’d realized he was bi or enby, he might have been afraid, too. She’d been loving but old school, and he wasn’t sure how she would have taken it.
“What about your sister?” he asked since she was the only one Zach hadn’t mentioned.
“I think she’d be fine,” Zach said immediately. “She had it out with my mom last year because my mom said something along the lines of trans people needing to accept that people were going to ask them invasive questions.” He chuckled, looking a little lighter. “After Krista went to town asking her a bunch of questions about how she knew she was straight and cis, and immediately followed it up with questions about her and dad’s sex life, I think she understood a little better.”
Brian burst out laughing.
“Your sister sounds like fun.”
“She is. She’s straight, but she’s always been super into politics and human rights, and she tries to be a good ally. She’s working in D.C. right now.”
“Why don’t you start with her, then?” Brian asked. “It’s not like you have to come out to the whole family all at once. Unless you think you and Kincaid are completely over, and you’re only going to date women from now on. Then it’s kind of a moot point.”
Looking up from his plate, Zach met Brian’s gaze for the first time, his dark eyes a little hopeful.
“Do you think just telling one of them would make a difference to Kincaid?” he asked eagerly, making it clear he wasn’t ready for things to be over yet, which was good to know. Brian really hadn’t been sure which way that was going to go. Zach could have easily decided he’d rather never come out to his family as anything other than straight.
“I think it would show that you’re moving in that direction. Especially if she could meet him. Why not focus on the person you think will be the most supportive? She might even have ideas for how to prep or tell your parents.”
Granted, he knew that Kincaid probably wanted Zach’s entire family to know about him. They wouldn’t be able to celebrate holidays together otherwise. But at the same time, he could see why Zach would find that daunting.
Just telling one of them would be easier on Zach, and it would show Kincaid that he wasn’t being completely shut out.
Compromise.
Just like you could find a compromise with Rae, right?
Fuck, he hated that little voice in his head sometimes.
Rae
Stronghold was hopping, and so was Rae, though she was hopping from nervousness. Every time the door opened, she looked up, wondering if it was going to be Brian. Even though she wasn’t sure what she was going to say to him yet. If she was going to say anything at all.
But this week had sucked without him.
She hadn’t realized how used she’d gotten to having him around. Not just for the sex stuff but also for the day stuff. More than once, she’d wanted to tell him something… but it would have been really weird to text him when they’d never done that before Hideaway.
She kept thinking maybe she was hyping things up too much in her head. Maybe she was too deep into writing romances—even if she’d had writer’s block all week despite all the ideas that had been flowing on the island—and she had built up a fantasy. Once she was faced with the reality, it would go away.
So, she hoped he showed up.
Even though she was really nervous about it.
“You are making me want to jump out of my skin. Will you sit down?” Iris said, tugging on Rae’s arm to pull her back into her barstool. “I’m already nervous enough with Noelle constantly glaring at me.”
“Sorry. Sorry.” She hadn’t even realized she’d jumped up. Master Will looked a bit like Brian, and she’d… yeah. Rae sighed, tossing her braids back over her shoulders. She’d dressed like a babygirl tonight, the way she often did at Stronghold. It didn’t mean anything. She had just felt like wearing her purple tutu skirt and the corset with all the fun ribbons and lace because she felt good in them.
Not because they were something she saw other babygirls wearing.
