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Just to have her?
She didn’t like the insecurity she felt or the way it sounded as though she thought she wasn’t enough, yet wasn’t that exactly what she was afraid of?
“I still think you should call him something that means ‘Daddy’ and call it a day. Papi, Papa?—”
“I don’t know.” It felt like not the same. Maybe for Domi it would be if she used ‘Papi,’ but for Rae…
“Pop. Old man. Pater.” Domi said the last one with a terrible British accent, and Rae cracked up.
“Oh my God, stop.”
“Does he have to be a Daddy Dom? Can he be a Pop Top?”
“Oh my God, stop. I can’t breathe!” Rae wheezed out.
She wanted to call him a Pop Top. She wanted to call him a Pop Top so bad. Would she get an even better expression than when she’d called him ‘not the mama’?
Except she couldn’t. Shouldn’t. Because she wasn’t his babygirl, and he wasn’t her Daddy Dom. Or her Pop Top. God, she was never going to be able to look him in the face again without wanting to call him that, just to see how he reacted.
“What about Father Figure?”
“I. Will. Murder. You.” If she could ever stop laughing hard enough to actually take a deep breath. The tension that had been riding her was seeping away, though, unable to hold up against the rockslide of laughter that cascaded through her.
“I’m just saying. You don’t know what he’ll be willing to compromise on until you talk to him. Maybe you guys can skip the fight and get straight to the compromising. Nothing wrong with that.” Domi raised her eyebrows at Rae, who sighed and finally admitted the truth.
“You were right, my parents fight, okay? They just didn’t do it in front of me because my mom wanted to protect me from all the fighting.”
“Ha!” Domi pumped her fist in the air. “I knew it!”
“Iris has been a bad influence on you,” Rae retorted, referencing Iris’ reaction to Hideaway when Brian and Rae’s secret hooking up had been revealed.
“She would say she’s been the best influence.” Domi stuck out her tongue in a move that was more reminiscent of her daughter than of Iris, and Rae had to shake her head and laugh again. Also, because Domi was right. Iris would definitely say she was the best influence. “So, does this change everything for you?”
“I don’t know about everything.” Rae sighed again as she nibbled her bacon. Her delicious, delicious bacon. Sadly, bacon did not bring clarity. “It’s made me kind of mad at my parents.” She’d talked to them the day after she’d run out on them—they’d known to give her some space before reaching out—but she couldn’t help the lingering feelings of resentment, despite knowing where her mom was coming from. It was like they’d been so determined not to do one thing, they’d overcorrected in the complete opposite direction.
You mean the way you do?
Yeah, but she came by it honestly. Like mother like daughter.
The problem was that now that she’d noticed it, she did want to course correct. Again. But she didn’t want to overcorrect. Somehow, there had to be a way for both her and Brian to get what they needed, even if they didn’t get everything they wanted.
Right?
“I’m just saying. You were really happy on the island. Happier than you ever were with Damian. I thought it was just getting away from everything, but now that I know it was also partly Brian…” Domi let her voice trail off, giving Rae a Significant Look.
The truth was, Rae had also felt happier on the island than she had in a long time. Other than the ‘Daddy’ thing, she and Brian fit together. She missed him. She was pretty sure the reason she couldn’t write right now was because of him, just like he’d been the reason her ideas had been flowing while they were at Hideaway.
“He said that he’d learned his lesson, though, right?” Rae let out a long, slow breath, trying to hide the ache that she felt at those words. “That sounds like he’s done with me.”
“You just have to show him that it’s worth giving a relationship with you a real shot. For once. You guys don’t need a second chance for that. Neither of you have ever really given it a first chance,” Domi pointed out.
She was right. Rae had definitely never really given her and Brian a real shot. There had always been roadblocks and reasons not to and hard-end dates. How was she supposed to convince him?
“Seriously? You’re a romance author. You have read nothing but romance for the entire time we’ve been friends.” Domi raised her eyebrow. “How do you think you’re going to convince him?”
“Are you reading my mind?” Rae demanded to know because she had definitely not said that out loud.
“Yes. Duh.” Domi snorted. “Like I didn’t know exactly what you were thinking. Now… what are you going to do?”
