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I’ve tried going back to the club several times since the incident, but I haven’t been able to participate in a scene.
I feel so lost, as if part of me is gone forever.
I breathe in, hold it as long as I can, and then exhale. A few more times, and my heartbeat finally slows.
I take a drink of water from the cup at my bedside, and then I lie down.
But sleep doesn’t come.
Chapter One
Mary
“Thank you,” I say, handing the black bag to the customer. “Hope to see you again soon.”
She smiles, turns, walks out the door. The fur-lined handcuffs in her small black bag could be anything. We don’t put our logo on the bags, nothing that could help identify the contents, for the sake of the customer’s privacy.
I head back out on the floor and approach a young woman looking at corsets.
“May I help you with anything?” I ask her.
She meets my gaze as her cheeks redden. “I’m just looking. Thank you, though.”
“Absolutely. My name is Mary if you need anything.”
“Sure. Thanks.” She turns away from me.
I’m used to customers who are embarrassed to be here. We sell lingerie, bras, panties, bustiers, and corsets. We also sell eveningwear and clubwear.
And leatherwear.
And toys.
All types of BDSM paraphernalia.
We do a good business, and I’ve been the top salesperson every year since I began, assistant manager for a year now. Still, though, selling leather gear won’t get me a Tesla anytime soon.
Brenda thinks I’m crazy for even wanting a car in New York City. She’s probably right.
My phone buzzes, and I check the caller ID. Speak of the devil.
“Hey, Bren,” I say into the phone.
Brenda Loring is my best friend and also a fellow submissive. She and I met back in college at Mellville University. We’ve been in the scene for a while…until Brenda did something that we both swore never to do.
She fell in love with her Dominant.
They’re engaged now, and they go to Black Rose Underground together.
“Drinks tonight?” she asks.
“Sure. Nothing else to do on a Friday night, is there?”
“Dalton is out of town,” Brenda says, “I was thinking…”
I take one more look at my customer to make sure she doesn’t need me, and then I walk toward the back of the store and lower my voice. “I’ve tried, Brenda. It’s not happening.”
“You’ve got to get back in the saddle, Mary. Jack went a little too far on you, but it was only because he was fighting his own demons. He never meant—”
