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“Then you wouldn’t be here.”
Again, he’s not wrong.
This lifestyle will always be a part of who I am, whether I play or not. But if I’m never comfortable enough to play a scene again, what am I doing here? I paid my membership dues for the year, so I can say I don’t want to waste the money.
That’s not really the reason, though. Membership for single women is not all that expensive in a club like this. Single men, on the other hand, get hosed with the fees.
“What if I want to leave?” I ask.
“No one is stopping you.”
But he’s stopping me. He doesn’t realize it, but he is. I feel bound to him in some strange way—as if he came all the way across the Atlantic to find me. Still, I’m not ready to play. Not even with this gorgeous Dominant who arouses me just by his presence. My flesh is sizzling, and I’m squirming against the heat between my thighs.
As if he’s reading my mind, Ronan drops his gaze to my chest. “You sure you don’t want to play?”
“I’m sure.”
His brows draw downward. Have I upset him?
“I didn’t say I wasn’t attracted to you, Ronan. Look in the mirror. Any woman would be attracted to you. Any submissive.”
“Yet the woman I want most right now doesn’t seem to want me.”
I shake my head, take a sip of my tangy drink. “It’s not that simple.”
“Do you want to level with me?”
“About what?”
“About what happened to make you this way. Something spooked you, Blossom,” he says, taking care to use my submissive name at the club. “I can assure you, you have nothing to fear from me.”
“I don’t have anything to fear from anyone in here.”
“Still…something has you changing your tune. What is it?”
I sigh. I want to tell him. I really want to open up to him.
“The last scene I participated in…went wrong, but that’s not even the issue. Scenes have gone wrong before. Something about this one, though… I think maybe I’m changing. Maybe this is no longer the life I want.”
He says nothing for a moment. Then, “You came back here tonight.”
“I did.”
“Did you come to see me?”
My cheeks are on fire. “I did.”
“Yet you won’t do a scene with me.”
I finger the stem of my martini glass. “No. Not tonight, anyway. I’m not ready, Ronan.”
“Are you uncomfortable here?”
“Not at all. You saw me dancing. This is a safe place for me.”
“But it’s not. Not if a scene went wrong.”
“But it is.” I drum my fingers on the table. “I know I’m not making any sense. If I understood it myself, I would gladly enlighten you.”
