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Because even though we’ve been together twice now, I still fear that being at the club will bring back the haunting memories of the scene that went wrong and all the emotions they stir up.
It’s best for me to stick to my particular regimen. We meet there. We play. I go home.
Already I know the scene will be amazing. Probably different from anything I’ve done before.
Of course there won’t be double penetration. I never play with more than one Dominant at a time, and there are no ghosts at Black Rose Underground.
I chuckle to myself. Ghosts.
One day he may reveal his secrets to me. But do I really want him to? I could figure it out. It’s not that difficult.
But then I lose the fantasy.
The fantasy of a ghost haunting a New Orleans hotel and fucking me along with Ronan.
I love the image in my mind.
And I don’t want to lose it.
Besides, I have something else in mind for today.
I’m going to visit the State University of New York. I’ve decided to finish my degree in business. I might like to own my own business someday. Maybe my own lingerie and toy store, or better yet, an online business. Or perhaps I’d like to change my major. Maybe psychology, so I can counsel people in alternative sexual lifestyles.
Ronan makes me want more.
There’s a scholarship program called the Excelsior Scholarship that allows eligible students to earn a free college degree at City University of New York or State University of New York.
I don’t know if I’ll be eligible, but it doesn’t hurt to check it out. I fire up my laptop.
But then I’m interrupted by my phone. It’s Brenda.
“Hey, Bren,” I say into the phone.
“Hey yourself. What were you thinking, coming back early?”
I’m not sure how to answer. Part of me wishes I were still in New Orleans with Ronan. I only got one day of sightseeing, and there was so much more I wanted to do there. But my choice was to come home after one day, and I still think it was the right one.
“I don’t know. It just seemed weird, going on a trip with someone I barely know.”
I know him now. In the biblical sense, and in another sense as well. He shared a lot of himself with me on our short trip. Plus I met his grandmother, a remarkable woman.
I smile to myself. I still have her love spell in my purse.
Sure, I don’t believe in any of that, but she does. And for some reason she thinks I’m the one for her grandson.
I suppose we’ll see about that.
“Did the two of you hit it off?” Brenda asks.
“Oh, we hit it off.”
“Oh my God… I bet New Orleans has some spectacular BDSM clubs.”
“We didn’t get that far,” I say.
“Oh…”
I say nothing.
