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I have no idea why I’m doing this. This is stupid….so incredibly dumb. I laid in bed all night convincing myself of exactly why I shouldn’t be doing this, going over all of the wrongs in my head, which wasn’t too difficult, seeing that there are tons of wrongs wrapped into this situation.
I should have just gone to that damn city council meeting with my parents.
But I’m not at a meeting full of closed-minded people discussing the first-world problems of our very fortunate community. Instead, I’m walking through fields of dirt. In a month’s time, I’d be surrounded by corn stalks as high as my chest, but right now, the freshly planted crops have barely sprouted from the ground, leaving me fully exposed as I make my trek toward the large red barn.
I’m just going to tell him that we can’t do this. This isn’t right, and it has detrimental consequences, at least for me. I have to do the mature thing and end this, whatever this is.
I sense him, my skin vibrating with desire, before I even see him leaning up against the back of the barn. He’s wearing worn jeans that ride low on his hips and a snug white T-shirt that clings to his muscles. He looks like a model straight out of GQ Magazine—farm edition—if there were such a thing.
Why does he have to be so gorgeous?
“Hey, beautiful,” he calls out when I’m close enough to hear him.
I close the gap between us. “What are we doing? Why are we meeting here?”
“I work here. I take care of the crops and livestock for Old Man Warren.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. It’s good money and flexible hours.” He shrugs.
“What if he catches me back here? He’ll tell my father.” My words come out as more of a shriek.
“He won’t. He’s at mass with the family, and then they go out to dinner. They won’t be back for a few hours.”
“Jackson, listen…” I start to say in the sternest voice I can muster.
He steps toward me, his proximity making my words fail as he tucks a loose strand of hair that fell from my ponytail behind my ear. “I missed you.” His deep voice does crazy things to my insides and makes my knees weak.
“You just saw me yesterday,” I scoff, ignoring the way my entire body hums, begging for his touch.
“Exactly. It’s been a whole day.” He takes my face between his hands, flashing an easy smile that makes my heart stutter.
“Don’t,” I plead. “Don’t kiss me.”
He leans in and kisses me so softly that my lips quiver against his, craving more. So much more. His mouth continues its gentle assault in this hypnotic spell of a kiss that has me wanting to forget everything I came here to say.
Harnessing every ounce of willpower I have, I step back from his enchanting mouth. My gaze takes in the man before me, and in my heart, I know he’s more than a high school senior. He’s more of a man than most guys I know ten years older than he is. Yet in the real world, none of that matters and that’s what I have to remember. There’s no room for the if we can keep this hidden mindset—no matter how much my heart wants me to go there. I have to force my mind to think in whens and not ifs because it’s just a matter of time before our secret was discovered. Nothing in this place stays hidden for long.
“I’m sorry, Jackson. I think you’re incredible, I do. But this”—I motion my hand between our chests—“can’t work. There’s too much at stake.”
He threads his thumbs through the belt loops of my jean shorts and pulls me toward him. “I’ve waited most of my life to have you, Savannah Sullivan. Now that I have, there is no way I can let you go.” Resolve lines his voice.
“If anyone found out, I would lose everything—my job, my family, my reputation.” I stare up at him, hard desperation resonating in my voice.
“No one will find out.” His confident smile fills me with a sense of calm, but I know it’s an illusion.
I shake my head. “Of course they would.”
“So, we wait three weeks. I’ve waited this long. I can wait for three more.”
Releasing a sigh, I say, “It won’t matter. Even when you’ve graduated, you’ll always be seen as my student by others.”
He drops his hands from my waist. “And as a piece of trash not worthy of the town princess.” His words are drenched in hurt, and it makes my heart ache.
“That’s not true,” I argue, though it’s a lie. He’s right. No one would ever approve or understand a relationship between us.
“It is,” he says frankly. “Respect me enough to be honest, Savannah.”
