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“And you’ve found her?”
“I’d like to think I have. But that’s what this conversation was originally about. How my love for her is so different from any other love I’ve felt. It’s raw, almost animalistic sometimes. Yet it’s sweet and pure the next minute. It’s like she completes me, and I know that sounds cliché.” I gaze out the window of the restaurant, taking in the Scottish landscape. “I can’t even describe what I mean by it, because those words aren’t even strong enough.”
Rory chuckles and shakes her head. “You really are in love, Jesse.”
“I am, and what concerns me is that she’s so young, and she’s been pining after me for so long, so is she really feeling what I’m feeling? Or is this just infatuation come to life?”
“I don’t know.”
Disappointment flickers through me. But honestly, what was I expecting? For Rory to say, Oh, of course, Jesse. She’s absolutely that in love with you. I can see it on her face. Because the truth is, that’s not a kind of love you can see on someone’s face. I can look at Brianna with all the love in my eyes, but I’ve looked at other women that way as well. No, this is something that’s inside, visceral, part of me.
“I appreciate your honesty,” I say. “Because I just don’t know either.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Brianna
After the concert, Maddie and I, along with Brock and Dave, head backstage. Tomorrow, Jesse and I get to explore Glasgow together in the morning, but in the afternoon, we’ll take the train back to London, have the encore concert the next evening, and then board a late flight to Paris.
Paris…
Again I think of my sister, Diana, who would love being here to see all the old architecture. But I’m taking lots of photos for her. And she’s probably already studied all these buildings in her classes.
Zane Michaels stays away from us again, which is fine by me, and apparently fine by Maddie as well, as she and Dave are holding hands.
Brock takes me aside. “What do you make of that?”
“What do you make of it? You’re closer to Dave than I am.”
“Yeah, but you’re closer to Maddie.”
“Did Dave say anything to you?”
Brock shakes his head. “Nope. But we’re guys. We don’t talk about that shit.”
“You mean you never told Dave about any of your antics with Rory?”
“Not really. We talked generally about it, but I don’t kiss and tell…anymore.”
I give him a swat on his arm. “Yeah, I know you Rake-a-teers.”
“Hey, Dave and I were just always trying to keep up with your brother.”
“He’s a little older than you are.”
“I’m serious. Dave and I tried so hard. We even had a threesome back at school.”
My jaw drops. “TMI, Brock. TMI.”
My cousin’s cheeks burn red. “Shit, I can’t believe that just slipped out. I didn’t mean to say that to you, Brianna. You know, you being a girl and all.”
“Woman,” I correct him. “How on earth did you get mixed up in something like that?”
“I told you. I don’t kiss and tell. Suffice it to say that once was enough for both of us. Seeing each other naked was kind of weird.”
“God, I bet. That’s gross.”
Though I nearly did the same thing with Maddie only a few nights ago. I even thought about how I would feel seeing Maddie naked. I figured if she and I didn’t touch each other, maybe it would be okay. But I know how much men like girl-on-girl action, and I bet Zane was after that. Good thing that got broken up.
