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I do. I’m not lying to her. I feel what she feels.
“I do,” I say.
“My God… As if I couldn’t love you more…”
“You only need to love me the way you love me,” I say. “Love is love, Brianna.”
“But it’s not, Jesse. What I feel for you is…” She stops.
“You don’t have to try to explain it. I sure can’t explain what I feel for you. I don’t think there are words.”
“Jesse, I know you think I may not feel what you’re feeling. I know that’s your fear.” She caresses my face. “But I want to alleviate those fears. There’s only one man for me. There will only ever be one man for me.”
God, I hope she’s right. I hope she knows it in her heart and soul. But damn. When I was twenty-two, I didn’t know which end was up.
I sit next to her, my dick still hard, but this talk is probably more important than anything.
“I don’t want to push you, Brianna.”
“Are you kidding me? I’m the one who’s been pushing you.”
Her remark makes me chuckle. “At first, yeah. You absolutely were. I thought of you as a young kid who couldn’t possibly know what she wanted. But somewhere along the way, I realized I was keeping myself from feeling what I wanted to feel. So I let it out. And it’s… It’s indescribable, Brianna. Fucking indescribable. It’s like you are me.”
“But Jesse, that’s how I feel too.”
I cup her cheek, kiss her lips gently. Do I fight her on that? Do I just let her think what she thinks?
I choose to let it be.
Because there’s a good chance she really does feel for me what I feel for her. And if she doesn’t? Well, my heart will be broken eventually. I can’t allow myself to think about that right now. Not when we’re heading back to London tomorrow for our UK farewell concert.
“I believe you, baby. I believe we love each other very much.”
“But…”
“But nothing.”
I could talk about how our careers are at odds, about how she’s so much younger and may not actually know what she’s feeling yet.
But she’s not me. I choose to embrace this moment. To rise, shed the rest of my clothes, lie down with her on the bed.
Our lovemaking is usually so frantic, but right now I just want to sink inside her—sink inside her and make love to her slowly.
Show her my love rather than my ache and my need.
I pull her into my arms so that we’re facing each other side to side. Then I slide her thigh over my hips, position myself at her entrance, and glide inside.
She melts against me, glides with me, as I pull out and thrust back in.
We move together, and we become perfect harmony, just gazing into each other’s eyes, as I slide in and out of her.
The feeling is so intense, as if my whole body is inside her, being loved by her sweetness and sexiness. As if I’m held by her heart as well as her body.
We continue to make love slowly, whispering sweet nothings to each other.
I love you, Brianna.
I love you, Jesse.
