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Maddie, who I convinced to come—who I convinced to put off her last semester of college so she could stay for the entire tour.
Maddie, who always felt left out of the awesome foursome. Maddie, who always felt overshadowed by three amazing older siblings.
She’s depending on me.
As much as I want to get the hell out of here, I cannot let her down.
Then I realize…
If the band can’t fulfill their contract—if Emerald Phoenix considers them in breach—we will probably all be going home anyway.
I want to cry. I want to cry and cry and cry, let the tears flow freely until my whole body is racked with sobs.
But I also want to put my fist through a wall.
I want to punch right through the drywall and make my knuckles bleed.
Because…
If I hadn’t been so selfish… If I hadn’t left Dad—who’s only now recovered enough from his gunshot wound to work outside in the orchards we both love— and forced my way onto this trip…
Perhaps none of this would be happening now.
Callie rises. “We’re going to head up.”
Donny scribbles his signature on the check and stands as well. “Are you two okay?”
Maddie swallows and nods. “As okay as I guess we can be. Me at least.”
I’m not sure how to answer my brother’s question. I’m a lot of things right now, but none of them are okay.
I simply nod.
No one wants to hear me talk about how this is all my fault.
No one wants to hear me say what a selfish and horny bitch I was about this whole thing.
None of them know why I did it.
None of them know what’s happened between Jesse and me.
Because if they did?
They’d blame me, just as I’m blaming myself.
Only Maddie and I sit at the table, and neither of us has touched our breakfast.
My eggs are cold and clammy, and the streaky bacon is congealed with fat. My awful coffee remains untouched other than a few sips.
“I don’t know what to do,” Maddie says.
“I don’t either, Mads.”
She scratches the side of her head. “Do you think the two of us should…”
“Should what?”
She sighs and looks down at the table, at her own plate that has hardly been touched. “Maybe we should just go home, Bree. I can go back to school. There’s still time. The new semester hasn’t even started yet. Right now, I’m just another thing for Jesse and Rory to worry about.”
