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I can’t let Brianna—or anything else—interfere with that. It’s not just about me. It’s about Cage and Jake. It’s about Dragon, who unfortunately got involved with some bad women, but maybe it’s a good thing, because now I know he’ll never do that again. It’s about Rory, my sister, who tried so hard for a career in opera but didn’t make it. Who has now committed to rock and roll and has a chance to be the star I know she was born to be.
“Jesse,” Brianna finally says, her voice soft and gentle, “we will find a way. We will find a way for both of us to live our dreams.”
I sigh, shaking my head. “If only it were that simple.”
“Nothing about life is ever simple,” she says. “Even born to privilege like I’ve been, life hasn’t been simple. It hasn’t been simple for any of us.” She sighs. “I could go on and on about what my family has been through. You know some of it, now that it’s public knowledge.”
She’s right, of course. A lot of skeletons just emerged from the Steel family closet in the form of the late Wendy Madigan, who is Ryan Steel’s birth mother. The older Steels knew about her, but it was news to the younger generation.
“Gina’s having a really difficult time,” Brianna goes on.
“I know. I understand. I’m sorry this is difficult for her.”
And I want to understand. I do. But Gina Steel has a trust fund that’s worth more than everything every member of my family owns put together. Her life won’t change. In fact, nothing has changed. She thinks her genetics have changed, but her genetics were always what they were. She just didn’t know.
Brianna pushes her hair behind her ear. “There are other things too, Jesse. Things I can’t talk about. Things that aren’t my stories to tell. But my father… And my brothers… They’ve been through hell that you can’t even imagine.”
Hell that I can’t even imagine?
Dale Steel lost some of his vineyards. Our family lost all of ours.
But I don’t want to quarrel with Brianna about the tough times of her family versus the tough times of mine. There are things she will never understand.
Which is probably why I fought these developing feelings so hard.
I’ve always found her attractive. In my mind, she’s the most beautiful of all the Steel siblings and cousins. She’s even more beautiful than her mother—who’s the daughter of a supermodel.
But maybe I need to understand.
“Can you tell me a little bit?”
“I wish I could. I’m pretty sure Callie knows. Donny probably told her everything.”
Donny Steel. My rival and my nemesis for so long. Now about to be my brother-in-law.
Perhaps my sister and I need to have a conversation. But if Bree and I are in love, shouldn’t she be the one to tell me? I mean, if whatever she’s talking about involves her father and her brothers, shouldn’t that come from her? Not my sister?
But I choose to leave it.
I choose to leave it because I need a good night’s sleep tonight. I have a concert tomorrow evening, rehearsal tomorrow afternoon.
The day after tomorrow, before we leave for Glasgow, the band and I will do some sightseeing in Edinburgh.
But tomorrow I have to be on.
I need to sleep well, and while I’m relaxed after making love with Brianna, now I’m thinking.
My mind is going a mile a minute, worrying about how I can keep the band on track and still deal with these massive emotions taking me over.
“If things work out between us, Brianna,” I say, “I’m going to expect full honesty from you.”
She bites her lower lip. “Before we get to any of that, don’t you think we should figure out how to handle the rest of this tour? We need to tell the others.”
“Do we? I don’t want to mess this up for Maddie. And part of the deal with Maddie was that you would be there for her, rooming with her, seeing Europe with her.”
She sighs. “I love Maddie. Truly I do. But Jesse… I want to be with you.”
“That can’t happen. All our reservations have already been made, and I’m rooming with Dragon. I only have this room to myself because he’s still in London. You leaving Maddie for us to be together would put Maddie in a room with Dragon.” I shake my head with a scoff. “And that is not happening in my lifetime.”
