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“For fuck’s sake,” I say again. “Just put him on the phone, will you?”
Callie sighs again. “He doesn’t want to talk to you, Jess.”
“Well, he’s going to. Put him on the damned phone.”
I hear the shuffling through the line, and then?—
“Hey, Jess.”
“Dragon, what the fuck?”
“Look. The reason I didn’t want to talk to you is because I knew you would try to talk me out of this.” He pauses. “But I need to be honest with you, Jesse. I don’t want to let you down again, and I think the best thing for me to do is to go home, get into a serious rehab, and never fucking take a drink or smoke a joint again.”
“You’ve been clean for over five years.”
“Yeah. Except for the booze and the pot. I always thought I could handle it, but I want to be clean for good, Jesse. I don’t ever want this to happen to me again.”
“What exactly are you saying, Dragon?”
Silence for a moment that seems like an eternity, and already I know what’s coming. Damn him.
Damn the motherfucker for lying to me.
And damn myself for fucking believing him.
“I didn’t remember a lot of that night for a while, but slowly, things started coming back. I started to remember through the haze.”
Count to ten, Jesse. Fucking count to ten.
“It was tough at first,” he continues, his voice cracking. “Like I thought I was dreaming, and I wasn’t sure what was real, but now I’m sure.” Another pause. “I lied to you, Jesse. Those women didn’t drug me. I took the stuff.”
Anger curls through me, at myself and at Dragon. Fucking Dragon…
Count to ten, Jesse. Count to?—
“I trusted you, man!” I yell into the phone.
Silence again, until?—
“I know you did. I swear to God, I will make this up to you. But you guys are better off without me on this tour. I’m going to get clean, man. Totally. So clean that I’ll never be tempted again.”
Count to fucking ten, Jesse!
One…
Two…
Three…
“You going to say anything, Jess? Or are you so pissed you can’t speak?”
Fuck, he has no idea.
“Dragon,” I say, taking care to regulate my voice despite my anger. “You’re an addict, man. You’re always going to be tempted.”
“Yeah. But I think I can get a handle on it. I thought I had a handle on it. But I?—”
Rage surges through me. Fuck counting to ten. “I can’t believe you, Dragon! This was our big shot. You almost blew it for us. And now I’m going to have to see if I can get Derek to sub in for you for the entire tour. He’s a great drummer, but he’s kind of an asshole. Totally rubs me the wrong way. Plus, how does that make us look with Emerald Phoenix? We look like fucking amateurs.”
