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What she really should have seen was how much he cared for her and that he wasn’t willing to risk hurting her. That’s what hurt the most. She still couldn’t see what he felt for her.
He wanted to set her straight. To confess his feelings and have her respond in kind. Though he knew she wouldn’t. She was too scared to admit that she cared. And as long as she was in denial about her feelings, she would twist anything he said to fit into the lies she had told herself.
Kate was looking for a fight and she had been since the moment she walked into his shop. She might believe she had kept herself emotionally distanced from him over the last year, but he knew better. If he spoke now, not only would she twist his words, he might respond in a way he would regret later.
“I need a minute,” he said as he pushed by her, on his way to the restroom. Kate had a habit of running away and since he had confronted her on it, he couldn’t do the same, but he still needed a moment to collect himself.
“Isaac, wait?—”
He turned around and saw the worry, and perhaps regret etched on her face. Last week, he had made the promise that he would be there for her to lean on. Which meant he couldn’t leave as soon as she said something he didn’t like. “I’m not going anywhere, Kate. I just need a minute, okay?”
When she nodded, he walked to the restroom. Once inside, he closed the door and leaned back against it, closing his eyes. If I were a man. Her words ran on repeat in his mind.
Not once in his entire life had he ever disrespected a woman or thought of her as less. From the first moment he had met Kate, she had his respect. More than that—she had his admiration. He’d been so impressed by her drive and strength to seek out a career in a field that was traditionally a man’s domain. She was talented and strong. Caring and loyal to her friends and family. Beautiful inside and out, even if she didn’t like showing him her vulnerability.
Kate was the main reason Isaac had taken Meredith up on her offer of a rental space. It had been time to leave Oregon, to find a place to start over, and Blue Mountain had far more to offer him than just that. Even more than a great location for a shop, and a found-family ready to include him, it had Kate.
It hadn’t taken him long to see the chip on her shoulder, although he hadn’t known what had put it there. Yet it didn’t worry him. So, when she had offered a friends-with-benefits arrangement, he took her up on her offer. Even knowing he would want more eventually. He was a patient man—he was willing to take his time and show Kate what they could have together.
If I were a man. “Fuck,” he muttered quietly. He wanted to be mad at her for saying those words, but he wasn’t. Sure, they hurt, but he shouldn’t have been surprised by them. His patience and his willingness to let Kate set the pace of their relationship meant they hadn’t gotten to know each other as well as they should have.
Never once had he explained what had happened in his past and how he approached his magic. That was on him. Now he had to figure out how to fix it.
He left the restroom and walked back into the room they had been using, worried she might be gone.
He found her pacing back and forth in the small space. The fact that she hadn’t left told him they could work things out. He was under no delusions that it would be easy. Only that it was possible.
“Kate,” he said her name softly as he walked into the room, prepared for her passionate explosion.
10
Holy fuck! What the hell had she been thinking? She hadn’t been, that much was obvious. She’d let all the events of yesterday, a sleepless night, a nightmare, and thoughts of the past confuse her, and she had taken it out on someone who didn’t deserve it.
“Kate.”
She turned toward the door when Isaac said her name.
“Isaac… I didn’t mean…” She wanted to finish but couldn’t. How could she explain? Everything that happened had messed her up so much that she was projecting all her hurt and shit onto Isaac.
She should leave. She was already forcing him to do something he didn’t want to do, and now she’d hurt him deeply with her careless accusations. Words she’d spewed because she was taking out her fear and shame on him.
Maybe she was the coward he had accused her of being.
If that was true, then getting the tattoo so she could work with the sword was an opportunity to prove herself once and for all. Once that was done, she could maybe let herself care for Isaac. Be vulnerable with him.
Too bad it all came back to needing Isaac’s help. Now she wasn’t so sure she deserved it. At least not yet. If she took a day or two to get a grip on her emotions, maybe she could figure out a way to apologize.
There would still be the matter of him not wanting to give her the tattoo… but one thing at a time.
“I think I should go.”
Before she could flash, Isaac gently gripped her upper arm. “Look, Kate?—”
A thunderous blast shook the building.
Kate stumbled, unconsciously flinging her arms out to find purchase. Isaac wrapped his arms around her, both of them rocking to the side until he steadied them. “What was that?” she asked, as they both rushed to the main area of the shop. She looked around as if the shop could give her answers.
“It sounded like it came from next door. We should?—”
