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“Let me get you an ice pack and pain medicine.”
“I have a bag of frozen okra in the freezer, and I don’t think I need pain meds. They gave me some strong medicine when they set my wrist.” I tip up his hat. “Damn, I love your cowboy hat. Makes me want to ride you again.” I can’t seem to hold my tongue between what I think and having it spill out of my mouth. What did they give me?
“I’ve been thinking about you too.” He gives me a quick kiss to my cheek. “But I think you need some rest today.”
He’s piling up all the ingredients on the counter. Frozen okra and meat, fresh carrots and tomatoes, a jar of chicken broth, and a jar of dried barley.
Wow. Now that’s attractive.
“I’m glad you think so,” Adriel says.
Did I say that out loud? These pain meds are making the barrier for keeping inside thoughts inside harder than I expected.
When was the last time I was taken care of like this? I’m usually the planner. The nurturer. The one to support people and bring healing homemade bone broth. Feeling it reflected on me brings me a warmth I don’t recognize.
“I’m going to add some extra garlic, since you love it so much.”
“You remember what Justine said. You must really like me,” I say.
He laughs a little and says, “I do.”
I watch him chop everything up and get a nice savory scent wafting around the house. After it’s all simmering, he comes back over and stands behind me to rub my shoulders.
This is nice. It feels so much more like something serious than something frivolous. I feel more vulnerable in front of him now that he’s shown up to take care of me even more than when we were naked together.
As the stew heats up, my swaying emotions are vacillating between being turned on and needing to take off another layer and ask him the truth. “I’ve got to be honest with you, Adriel, I don’t want to just hookup.” My voice is soft, and my emotions are bubbling over in a way I can’t keep contained anymore.
“Good. I don’t either. I’m not good at it, and I don’t want to try. I like you. A lot. I’d probably second guess me too with how quickly everything heated up at your work the other day. It’s hard to explain, but it just feels right.”
I was prepared for a fight. A back and forth of clarification. This is much nicer.
Whenever I spoke up before, I was always met with one of two things. Shock or disgust. My ex would either act confused, surprised, or react angrily because he was gaslighting me again.
I clear my throat and say, “I like you too.”
He doesn’t stop there. He keeps going. “I lied to your sister. I noticed you before that moment with the kids in the library. I saw you volunteer at the pet shelter too. I was thinking about surprising Ana with a cat for her birthday, but I was too nervous to talk to you then. There were all these people waiting to meet cats that day, I tried to wait for an opening with you. But before I knew it my time was up, and I had to leave.”
He drags a hand down his embarrassed face. I take it and kiss his palm. I guess we’re confessing now.
“I noticed you first at the library. You came in on my first week on the job. I was checking in books in the front office and saw an interesting mix of books come in. Gentle parenting. Woke parenting. Family values. Then a pile of Babysitter’s Club books and Braiding Sweetgrass. That’s my favorite recent read and I had to see whose books these were. I peeked from behind the door and saw you with your daughter. I was into your books, but when I saw you, I knew I needed to meet you.”
“Jules, you are so much more than I was hoping for. Will you please go on a date with me this weekend?”
As much as I want to stay awake, my eyes are drifting closed. I’ve been waiting weeks for this conversation, and now I’m falling asleep from this pain medicine. Not right now! I like him so much, how will he ever know?
“I know, Jules.”
With a kiss to my cheeks, I fall asleep cocooned in sweet thoughts and a savory smell filling my apartment.
I wake up hours later in the dark, layered under blankets and propped up on a pillow, with my phone next to me.
“Adriel?” I whisper.
“It’s me, Justine. I’m here sis. Adriel called me before he had to pick up Ana. He just left a little while ago.”
“I had the best dream of him being here and taking care of me, but we were also riding cat unicorns and flying. I’m not sure what I said.”
Justine laughs and hands me a bottle of water. “I don’t know what happened either, but I do know your cowboy couldn’t hold back his smile when I asked him how you were doing. He said to let you know that half the stew is in the freezer, and the other half is on the stove for us to eat now. The said something about how he’s been waiting for that conversation too, and that he can’t wait for your date this weekend.”
