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Thick in the afterglow of early dating, I can’t get enough of Adriel and Ana. Justine even tags along whenever she’s not studying for finals.

If I’m not at their cabin, they’re over at my apartment cooking up a storm with my sister, and spoiling Cora with new toys and fresh trays of cat grass every week. It’s been a rotating door between our two spaces, and I can’t think of a barrier we haven’t surpassed.

I kept holding back how I was really feeling in the beginning. Not wanting to address the center of my concerns about us being a one-night stand or only good for random hookups, but once I spoke up, I’ve been able to feel like my most authentic self. I’m following my gut and I know it’s exactly what I want. There’s no more holding back or bending over to make space for others. I’ve been showing up exactly as me, and I know who I am, and Adriel can’t get enough.

While they’re all taking turns with our new tray of cat toys, I excuse myself for a call from my mom.

“How’s it going out there?” I ask.

“It’s great, anak. We miss you both, but I know you’ve got it all handled. I’m not worried about a thing.” That’s a great compliment coming from my worry-wort of a mom. “Our new apartments here are already leased out, and the restaurant by you is running smoothly on its own with the new manager we hired. We can finally relax for once. Not so much hustle all the time.”

They deserve it. They’ve been working hard since I was a kid. I’m glad there is some ease in their lives for once.

“Good. We’re having a nice time together too. Justine’s plan really worked out best for the both of us. It’s been nice sharing my town with her and enjoying some quality sister time in between her classes. She’s growing up, and soon she’ll be finding her own place to live.”

It’s hard for me to not see her as my child as much as my sibling, but she’s really pulled through on stepping up around the house. Her plan to stay here instead of my commuting has worked out so well. If I had been commuting from our parents’ house, I would never have been able to get to know Adriel as well as I have been these last few weeks. Justine did exactly what I wouldn’t have done, but I’m recognizing the merit in not blindly following my parents anymore if I expect to keep growing.

“I’m glad to hear that, because we’re planning on extending our stay.”

Something about the way she says it, makes me hesitate to reply.

“We really love it here. I forgot how much I missed it, in fact. Since you’ve got it handled at home, I’d love to see the rest of our family in the province that we haven’t seen since I was a girl.”

“That’s nice mom. When do you think you’ll come back?”

“I’m thinking about July, for Justine’s birthday.”

“Wait a second. Justine’s birthday is after she graduates high school. You can’t be planning to miss her graduation, right?”

My mom’s quiet on the phone. “I haven’t been back for so long, and now that we’re here after that eighteen-hour plane ride, we’d like to stay as long as possible.”

I can hear the barely hidden thrill in her voice. Who am I to stop her journey back home. That’s what old Jules would have thought. But now, I’m ready to share my reservations.

“Mom, you can’t do that.”

“Excuse me?”

I’ve felt so confident lately. By being surrounded by Adriel and Ana making me feel seen and admired. Being encouraged by my little sister Justine this whole time, I’ve got to stand up for her.

Taking a deep breath, I say “You know I’ve been happy to step in with Justine. As her sister, I get to see her in a way that you never can, and she’s more aware and fragile than we all give her credit for. I think it’s a bad choice to even consider not being here for her graduation. She’s grown so much in the past few years, but she’s still a young woman. She won’t say it, so right now I’m going to, she’ll want her parents at her graduation, and we’ll both be disappointed if you’re not back before then.”

It’s dead silent on the line.

I don’t really know what to make of it, and I don’t think my mom does either. I’ve never spoken back to her, but if there’s something I’d gladly put myself into an uncomfortable situation over, it’s this. I may not have had the confidence to do this a year before, or even a few months before, but today, I am.

Quietly, my mom says, “Ok, anak. I’ll talk to your dad about what you said, but we’ll be back.”

She gets off the phone before I can say goodbye. I think she’s as stunned by my speaking up as I am.

Before I rejoin the group, I sit in my pride a little longer before I’m greeted by the warm scent of date and walnut blondies fusing together and baking in the oven. It’s the smell of Food for the Gods. My favorite Filipino baked good.

“Everything okay, hon?” Adriel says, kissing my neck and snuggling up from behind me at the table.

“Honestly. In this moment, everything is perfect.” I turn back to kiss his cheek and lean into him. “How’s building the cabins going?”

“I need some of your confidence to rub off on me because I’m falling behind. I lost a few days of work with the rain last week. Should be dry enough to work out there soon. I promised my parents that I’d show some change to the bottom line by the end of winter for the bank to extend our load, and we’re almost there.”

“I think you need more help than just you and your dad.”

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