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With a quick embrace, she goes back to bed with the video monitor, and I get to work.
Riding my horse before the sun comes up has always given me the answer before. I love the feeling of being up before everyone else and using that quiet time in the morning to figure out how I want to tackle the day. I can put my neatly curated task list of work for the day into boxes in my head, then corral them into place while I ride the perimeter of our 20-acre ranch.
Everything I need is here. My parents' home. Mine with Ana. My brother Javier’s handmade cabin, even though I barely see him. Barns. Fields. So much land on this hilly California coast. Everything’s lined up and in its own tidy multi-acre plot.
Then my parents break the news last night and it’s like someone shook up the completed puzzle I just finished.
This morning, nothing is where it’s supposed to be. It’s colder outside, the cattle have strayed, and the west fence was knocked over by the heavy winds last night. All the years I had meticulously planned are out of order.
The vision of celebrating Ana’s quinceañera under the seaside gazebo feels hazy. Generations of longstanding accounts for our cattle are in disarray. Tomorrow is as hazy as this overcast morning.
Today, no amount of early morning riding can clear away the anxiety that’s rolled in with the fog late last night.
While that burden will continue to weigh me down, I do have something to look forward to. This afternoon is the day I finally get to see Jules again after our one steamy night together. I signed up to volunteer with her before she left town, and seeing my calendar reminder for today’s meeting is enough to keep me going.
Chapter Three
Jules
“Happy New Year, Jules!” Viv says sliding her chair over to me as I settle down behind the circulation desk.
I lean into her hug and smile widely. I feel like I’m in high school again, hugging friends between classes as if I’m not going to see them in forty minutes.
“I missed you, Viv. Did you have a nice time with Jackson and Lola over the holidays?”
“It was terrific. It’s a big year for us. Before we were together, Jackson and Lola always had a daddy-daughter day to celebrate Halloween. They welcomed me in last year, and now we’ve built up Christmas to be our shared holiday. The second fall hits, our house is packed with a rotation of holiday decorations. I love it!”
“I’m a Christmas girlie too. I collect those small ceramic homes.” I’m almost embarrassed by my admission since I don’t know of anyone else that shares my cozy hobby.
Before I can get too self-aware, Viv yelps out, “Me too! Lola and I made it our thing together. We just found streetlights at a garage sale.”
I laugh to myself for my short burst of embarrassment.
That’s why work is my happy place. I love what I do, I’m good at it, and the women I work with are already like family. Viv welcomed me in the moment I came through those sliding glass library doors. She’s Filipino like me, but much more confident.
The more time I spend with her the more I think we have in common.
She’s like looking into a crystal ball, and what I imagine I’d be like if I left home after college, like everyone else. Time to make mistakes and build confidence surrounded by other people slipping and stumbling together.
“Damn. I know I only saw you a week ago, but it feels like we’ve got so much to talk about,” Sydney says, coming up behind Viv and me.
Completing our trio is Sydney. Fittingly, she’s in charge of the teen department and leads our library’s events. Outgoing, boisterous, and thoughtful, she knows everyone in town and loves connecting people. She ran my orientation when I started, and we’ve been attached at the hip ever since.
She’s also Adriel’s cousin and the reason I was able to spend more time with him over the holidays. Inviting me to her family’s Christmas party, I finally had more than a fleeting moment with Adriel in passing at the library, and he was better than I imagined.
Plopping down onto a third chair behind our circulation desk, we catch up while checking in the rolling basket of books she retrieved from our outdoor receptacle.
“How were the holidays, Sydney?” Viv asks, taking a book from Sydney to check in.
“A lot of family time at home. More tamale making, late night bonfires with my tias and nieces, catching up with family from out of town. I loved it.” Sydney says, pulling out another armful of books to stack next to Viv.
I’m going through my emails from volunteers confirming their upcoming shifts while they talk, but the one volunteer I’m desperate to see isn’t in my inbox.
“So, did Jules tell you how she’s been flirting with Adriel?”
Viv’s chair makes a loud squeaking noise as she pivots to stare at me. “You let me go on and on about holiday decorations when you’ve been sitting on Adriel? I mean, not telling me about him.” We all laugh at how that sounds naughtier than Viv intended.
If only they knew that’s exactly what happened.
