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When I’m with him, the worries and questioning his intentions melt away. Instead of a dance I don’t know the moves to, we naturally move in sync. Following his lead, we walk out of the library, and he guides me as if he knows where to go.
“I already know the two blocks won’t be enough. Can we walk around first?” He asks.
I eagerly nod. Walking towards the coastline a few blocks away, I ask, “How’s the last week been?”
He hesitates, and then settles on saying, “It was okay.”
“Sounds like it could have been better. Want to talk about it?”
“My parents gave me some news I wasn’t expecting.”
I can tell there’s more he wants to say so I stay quiet, giving him an in to expand on it or change the subject.
He continues. “They told me that the ranch my family has been working with for generations isn’t doing as well as I thought.”
“That must have been surprising,” I say.
“Definitely. I love the land. My family has been here for generations. I can’t imagine living anywhere else, or doing anything else, but now we might have to. They were getting ready to pass it on to me, but they don’t want to hand me a failing business.”
“But what do you want to do?”
Immediately he says, “I’ll do anything to keep it. I asked for a season to turn things around. It sounds absurd to think I can do anything when they haven’t been able to in years of trying, but I’ve got to try. That land is my life.”
His conviction is breathtaking. What was the last thing I fought for? The last time I risked failure for a dream. Hearing his passion, makes me want to help him, but I don’t want to overstep.
“If your brothers are anything like you, I wouldn’t bet against you making some waves in a season or less.”
“My brothers don’t know.”
“How come?”
“This isn’t their battle. I chose this. They didn’t. Luis is a musician, and Mateo keeps to himself up the mountain. Javier is our head veterinarian but doesn’t get involved in the rest of the ranch.”
He’s a classic oldest child like me. Taking all the burden for himself. I bite my tongue.
After a while, he asks, “What is it?”
I stay quiet a moment longer, then he says, “I want to know what you’re thinking.”
“I’m very similar. I’m the oldest too. I bend over backwards to take care of my sister, and to show up for my family. I literally had to move away to setup some boundaries for myself. I almost didn’t when I thought about leaving my sister, but she’s the one who pushed me to go.”
“How’d she do that?”
“She borrowed my laptop and saw my tabs full of apartment listings. When I caught her, she just pointed to the listing for my apartment and told me that I should choose that one. She wanted to show up for me, I just never gave her the chance. It’s still hard.” I turn to look at him, “Maybe your brothers would like to be given the chance too.”
“Maybe.” His voice trails off. It looks like he’s taking it to heart. “I never thought about that.”
Happy to be helpful, I push a little more. “Tell me more. What have you thought up so far?”
“We don’t have to spend all our time talking about my problems.”
“If you’d like to vent, or are open to advice, I’m happy to hear it. I can tell it’s on your mind.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be so distracted.”
“No. It’s okay. I like that you’re sharing this with me.”
“At the end of the day, the most valuable asset we have is the coastal land. If we sold it, we’d definitely be comfortable. The whole lot of us. My brothers and parents would all walk away with more money than we could reasonably use. Even Ana would be taken care of.”
