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“When was the last time you really talked to her?”
He snorted. “Really? When I was ten, when she was arrested. I didn’t see her after. They asked if I wanted to, but I didn’t.” He raised his gaze to her. “Makes me quite the dick, right?”
“You were a kid.”
“But now I’m not. I need to grow up—is that what you’re saying?”
“Not at all. You don’t have to talk to anyone you don’t want to.”
He shook his head. “And here I was this morning, excited to come in to see you?—”
“Already awkward enough.”
“No.” He turned to her, his expression grave. “Not at all. I thought the shoot went really well and I loved meeting Craig?—”
“Greg.”
“Right, Craig, and telling him what’s what. I know that’s sort of immature, but I never claimed to be an adult. Basically, things are looking up. I had a bounce in my step, Ashley, and that was because of you. And now she’s here and she’s ruined it.”
Before he could spiral into even more upset, Ashley leaned in and kissed him. “It doesn’t have to be ruined.”
He softened as she pulled gently on his lips, encouraging him to open up to her. With a breathy sigh, he surrendered and went all in.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured.
“For what?”
“Bringing more drama into your life. You’re supposed to be the place I can turn to for a sliver of peace.”
She was? Maybe he meant the shelter, but she suspected not. She could be the harbor he needed. “I can still be that for you. I’ve said it before, Dex. Anything you need.”
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about this. About her. And I don’t want to think about it, to be honest. It just makes me angry, and I don’t like that feeling. Some guys can feed off that, but it doesn’t work for my play or my life. The more stable things are, the better I play. The better I feel. I’m only starting to realize that lately. That maybe boring, regular guy Dexter is a more productive player. Or person.” He ran a hand over her back. “That woman symbolizes chaos and the past. I buried it and I don’t want to unbury it just because she says so.”
Ashley nodded. “This is your boundary to cross, and I’m sorry you had to see her first thing. I thought I’d be spending these few weeks fighting off your fans with a stick, I had no idea long-lost relatives would be coming out of the woodwork.” She kissed him lightly. “Nothing’s ever simple with you, O’Malley.”
That made him laugh, and just that sound made her blood bubble with joy.
“Thanks, Ash. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”
It was a throwaway line, but it settled in Ashley’s chest. Because she had been thinking something very similar, contemplating what a future without Dex in it looked like, and not liking the conclusion one bit.
28
“It’s about to start, Mom!”
“Okay, okay, I’m here.” Ashley brought the popcorn in and set it down on the coffee table. Her eyebrows rose at the sight of Maeve on the sofa. “You’re watching hockey?”
“Sure.” More like watching Ashley, looking for clues that she was too excited about Dex O’Malley.
A few weeks ago she’d played hooky for the first time in living memory and now she was in a secret relationship with a younger professional hockey player. Though relationship was probably too strong. A friends with benefits situation perhaps? They weren’t co-workers and she wasn’t his boss—not really. (She’d repeated this to herself several times.)
A couple of days ago, he’d shared about his mother, though she imagined there were more details. Ugly ones. For all Dex’s honesty about his desire for her, he was remarkably close-mouthed about everything else, especially his past. From the age of ten he’d been shunted around from place to place, unable to settle, needing to belong. No wonder he was leery of establishing relationships with his teammates. The nature of the business, when you could be traded at any moment, definitely discouraged connections of the deeper variety.
As if she needed another reason not to fall for this man.
No. She would enjoy this moment, live in it, but not expect it to last any longer than one of Willa’s butterflies.
“Oh, there’s Dex, Mom! Look how fast he is.”
