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“That Dad will be with me and the butterflies. Babies need a lot of attention.”
Ashley sat down on the bed and raised her arm to invite Willa in to snuggle close. Her room was an ode to winged creatures, mostly butterflies, but also dragons, fairies, and one that looked like Mothra. Since moving in with her sisters, the last six months had been spent trying to make this room as close to the one in their old house. Smaller than before, it was still her daughter’s haven.
“Your dad’s a little busy with the new baby, but he’s still your dad.”
“I know.” She touched her iPad and brought up a photo array, pictures of her new sister, born four months ago. “Emily’s going to be beautiful when she grows up.”
“I’m sure she will be.”
“I mean, really beautiful. Because Lottie looks like a model.”
Okay. “She’s got your dad’s genes, which means you’re beautiful, too.”
“She probably won’t need glasses, though.” Willa peered at the screen through her glasses, the ones she’d worn since she was seven. “She’ll have perfect eyesight.”
“We don’t know yet. Anything could happen. But if she needs glasses, then you’ll be able to tell her how it works.”
“They’re just glasses, Mom. You put them on and they work.”
Lately, Willa had gotten it into her head that her father thought the new baby was more beautiful than his oldest daughter. That this time he’d got it right.
“You know you’re perfect the way you are.”
“You have to say that.” Willa sighed. “But I appreciate that you think so.”
“So wise. Okay, I’ve got to get back to Book Club, though I doubt anyone missed me.”
Willa smiled, but she was already in her drawing app, coloring a wing.
On her way back to the living room, Ashley passed a full-length mirror in the hall and for the first time in a while, stopped to take a look. She used to consider her reflection more often, the mess of caramel-blonde hair, the silver-green eyes, the curves and dips that made up her body. Lately she’d stopped looking beyond a superficial check that she was free of boogers and spinach in her teeth. It brought up too many memories, but mostly the most devastating one.
I’m just not attracted to you anymore.
Later Greg had said other things: about Lottie, getting her pregnant, how they’d co-parent Willa like they should have from the start instead of taking that one-night stand and trying to turn it into a marriage. A life.
But it was the comment about his attraction to her that stuck long after the others had faded into her rearview. He didn’t have to say that. He could have let the obvious fact they’d drifted apart—or had never really gelled—do the heavy lifting.
For some reason he’d needed her to know that the body that produced his daughter just didn’t do it for him, which made her think that it never had. That they’d let Ashley’s pregnancy override all else—attraction, compatibility, even love. He might have added “anymore” to that parting shot, but all she heard was “have never been.”
Now all she could see were the flaws. A surplus of pounds, too much junk in the trunk, a non-existent thigh gap. And don’t get her started on how her eyes were too close together, or cheeks too round, or her chin came to a point.
Now, whenever she rushed by this mirror, the ghost of her previous self flashed in the corner of her eye. Good enough for a one-and-done, but what had she been thinking trying to stretch that goodwill to ten years?
That no-photo dating app wasn’t just to set an example for her daughter. If she could make an impact with her personality first, looks wouldn’t matter.
Probably not true, but a newly-single woman could hope.
3
Pittsburgh defenseman Kyle Hughes will attend an NHL player safety hearing this Sunday. Hughes is facing discipline for slashing against Chicago Rebels forward Dex O’Malley. The incident occurred at 19:50 of the third period near the Rebels bench in Chicago’s 3-1 home win against Pittsburgh last week. Hughes received a major penalty for slashing on the play. O’Malley was able to finish the game. The hearing was delayed because of an after-game incident between O’Malley and Hughes, which resulted in injury to Hughes and O’Malley’s arrest and charge with assault.
— NHL Player Safety
Dex tried not to roll his eyes on seeing the name on his caller ID. Kit Mallinson was a great agent and all-around good guy, but Dex had given him a lot more trouble than the average client and Kit was taking the tough love thing to the max.
“What’s up?” He stifled a yawn. His next-door neighbor Georgia had one of her epic parties last night, and while he hadn’t attended—trying to be good, trying to be good—the thump thump of the party’s bass had kept him up.
“Just checking in on my man! Ready for a little rep renovation?”
