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His face was smooth; I never saw him so exhausted. His arm slid under my back and pulled me against him. My head lay over his shoulder and I listened to his deep breaths, his chest rising and falling like the ocean.
“Natalie, that was—”
“—Amazing.”
It was the best sex I ever had. How many times had I laid under Ben, bored as he pumped for a few minutes then collapsed to the side, without a thought of my pleasure? My body ached from being pounded so hard, but I felt myself twitch in anticipation of going again.
I kissed his neck. “When can we go again?”
His chest shook with laughter. “Might be a little bit.”
And my heart fluttered as he gathered me in his arms and kissed me.
“A little bit” turned out to be fifteen minutes of foreplay and fondling, then William took me again—almost as roughly as he had the first time, and at last we collapsed in each other’s arms and resigned ourselves to sleep. During the night I heard a jump and then a small, warm lump settled behind my legs. The lump began to purr. I smiled.
Screaming. I jerked awake, naked and confused. It was still dark and I couldn’t see anything. Tom’s nails raked me as he sped from the bed, startled by the noise. A dark shape thrashed beside me—Will—in the throes of another nightmare. I groped for the switch on the lamp and it flared on.
“Will, wake up!”
I ripped the covers off him and he seemed to shudder awake. He turned away from me and sat on the edge of the bed, his shoulders shaking.
I rejoined him in the bed as a low moan shook from his throat. I curled up behind him, watched him bury his face in hands, and did not know what to do.
He flinched when I touched his back. “Hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”
“Nothing. It was nothing.”
I tried to ignore the horror rising up my throat. “Maybe you should tell me what happened.”
He lifted his head and turned around, his eyes bloodshot. “You don’t want to hear about it. Believe me.”
“I can handle it,” I said in a firm voice.
Will’s black eyes hardened. They were reflective, like a dark mirror. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You don’t want to talk about it, but I deserve to know. If this will go anywhere, I need to know.” I grabbed his wrist when his eyes unfocused, staring into some point beyond my shoulder. “Either you tell me or I’ll leave and you’ll never hear from me again. I mean it, Will.”
His arm slipped out of my grasp. “Then go.”
I wasn’t prepared for the chill in his voice, the dead eyes, closing in front of me like shutters on windows. I dove off the bed and picked up my clothes, pulling them on.
He'llbe like that? Fine.
“Natalie.” Will’s voice cracked.
“I can let a lot of things slide, but not this.”
Will half-rose from the bed. “I’m not ready to share every dark secret of mine with you.”
“What do you expect me to do? You scream and have panic attacks, and I don’t have a right to know what’s causing them?You must be joking.”
I seized my tank top and pulled it on. He sat on the bed, glowering at me under a curtain of dark hair.
“Where the hell are you going to go? It’s the middle of the night.”
“I don’t care,” I muttered, heading toward the bathroom to stuff everything into my suitcase. A part of me hoped like hell he would change his mind.
“Stop,” he said in a tremulous voice, which was suddenly a lot closer. His hand fell on my shoulder and I looked up into the bathroom mirror. His eyes were wide and terrified and I felt myself weaken.
