AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Yes, and so do you.
I grinned, bursting to tell her I signed a multi-million dollar NDA. “Can’t tell you, sorry. He made me sign an NDA. And an authorization for a background check.”
Her eyes bugged out. “You’re kidding?”
“Wish I was.”
“Well, that’s thorough. Now I’m really curious. I still think you will have to put out, though.”
My cheeks went pink. If he wanted to have sex with me, would I say no?
Of course you would!
“ThenI’ll just end it.”
Natalie knew sex frightened me. She looked at me without blinking. Oh God, she'sgoing to talk about it.
“I hope you aren’t pressured into doing something that traumatizes you.”
My mind recalled a hand pressed against my mouth in the darkness. Heavy alcoholic breath poured into my ear. If you make a sound, I’ll kill you.
A violent feeling surged inside me, and I looked around for a drink to flush it down. A beer. I needed a beer. Maybe an entire case.
“Well, what do you mean?”
She sounded impatient. “Jessica, come on. You know what I’m talking about. You’ve always had issues with men.”
I felt stripped bare, and my faceflushed. There was very little I was willing toreveal about myself, yet Natalie appeared to know all my horrible secrets.
“I’m just worried about you throwing yourself into a dangerous situation with a man you hardly know. What are you going to do if he forces himself on you? Can you handle that?”
Could I?
Idoubted he would do something like that. “Jesus, Nat. I don’t even know what he wants yet. Will you relax?”
Her arms crossed over her chest and she drew a shuddering breath. “Look, I know you don’t like to talk about your foster parents and everything.”
“Here we go,” I said, rolling my eyes. I didn’t care if I was rude.
“You willneed to talk about it someday to someone,” Natalie said. “Jess, I’m not saying it has to be me, but you put your life on hold for way too long.”
“Enough.” The rough edge in my voice made Natalie back away. “It’s not that easy for me. For starters,I don’t have health insurance. There's no family supporting me. I’m dealing with it the best way I know how.”
“You have a family.”
“No, I don’t.”
She looked at me like a wounded animal. The hurt splashed over her face and some of her pain transferred to me.
“You’re getting married and starting a life of your own. You’re not going to always be there for me. And that’s fine. I want you to have everything you want. But don’t talk as if it’s that simple. I’ve been kicked and punched since I was a kidand you don’t get over that after a few hours in a therapist’s office.”
Natalie flinched as though I struck her. We never talked about this out in the open, even when I showed up to school with bruises on my legs. I stood and paced the small kitchen, Natalie’s infuriating look of pity following every step. There was no way in hell I was going to talk about this.
“I can’t imagine what it was like—”
Needled past endurance, my head whirled around. “No, you can’t.”
“But you haven’t tried, Jessica. Admit it. You’ve survived everything that happened to you, but you’ve never allowed yourself to live.”
