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Luke hesitated, guilt written all over his face as he looked at me. “Okay.”
Even if it amounted to nothing, I gained a victory tonight. I had sex with a man and it hadn’t been a disaster. It hadn’t been painful. It was awesome.
8
“I told you so,” Natalie said for the umpteenth time. “I said it right before you left thatthis would happen.”
“Yeah, I know.”
The phone was hot on the side of my face and damp with my sweat. As I paced the hotel suite and spoke in hushed whispers, I was careful to avoid Luke in the living room. Natalie and I were long overdue for a chat. Shewasted no time in telling me she was right.
“I don’t care if you’re right. It’s worth it. I feel different, Natalie. I don’t know what it is, but he makes me feel better, even if it’s temporary.”
Natalie’s voice was soft. “Well, he seems like a decent person,” she admitted. “I’m happy for you, but I’m worried this will blow up in your face. You won't feelso great when he ditches you.”
“We’re not together. He can’t ditch me.”
I could hear her rolling her eyes at me.
“Yeah, whatever. The way you talk about him, you might as well be together.”
Jerk. “Well, I’m flying to Chicago today.” After a beat, I added: “To meet his dad.”
“Wow, your fake relationship is getting pretty serious.”
I scowled at the humor in her voice. “I’m kind of losing my shit. This isn’t my territory. Do I stroke his ego? Should I be a yes-man?”
“No.Just be polite. Be yourself.”
Wasn’t that what Luke had told me? Be yourself, Jessica. Try as I might, I couldn’t feel comfortable with the idea with Luke’s father. He was an ass, and he reminded me too much of my foster parents. How would I handle it if he bullied me? My face flushed with hot anger.
“You can handle a cranky, sick old man. Like most men his age, he just wants attention.”
But it wasn’t that simple. He wasn’t just a cranky old man; he was a cranky old man in charge of a multi-billion dollar industry. There were millions of dollars riding on this meeting. The fate of Luke’s finances depended on me. I wanted to laugh and laugh until I passed out. What if he didn’t like me?
Natalie could sense my disquiet. “Just don’t think about it, or you’ll mess up. I don’t know what to tell you.” There was a slight pause. “I almost forgot to tell you this, but I’ve been keeping tabs on all the tabloids about you and Luke.”
“Uh-huh.”
“They still don't know who you are, but if you ask me it’s a matter of time before they find out.”
“You can’t tell the media anything. I’m serious, Natalie. It’ll put everything in jeopardy. Tell Ben not to say anything, either.”
“I would never do that! Are you crazy?”
“They might offer you lots of money.”
“I don’t care. There’s no way I’d cave, but someone else who knows you might.”
“Like who?” As far as I was concerned, there was no one else who knew me. I never talked about my personal life to anyone. If they asked my coworkers at the soup kitchen, all they could get from them is the city where I lived. “Listen, I’ve got to go. The car will pick us up soon. I’ll text you when I land in Chicago.”
“All right. Good luck.”
I hung up the phone and clenched it in my palm, wiping my other hand on my jeans. Luke wassilent the whole ride to the airport. I kept looking at him, wanting to confess my fear of meeting his father, but the whitened look on his face stopped me. I didn’t want to make him feel worse, so I didn't say a word.
He barely spoke during the flight.His red-rimmed eyes staredstraight ahead. I wanted to help him, but there was nothing I could say. So, I sat next to him and held his hand.
We were exhausted when the plane landed, but Luke told me we would head to the hospice. In the back of my mind, I thought we were playing right into his father’s hands. Wasn’t it unreasonable to expect Luke and I to hurry over there after a ten-hour flight? Whatever, it wasn’t my call.
