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“He said he paid for psychiatrists and therapists and everything under the moon for your mom and he hid her depression from you. To protect you. That's why he sent you awayfrom his in-laws, who were demanding more money and suing him. He didn’t want you to see all that.”
Luke, who had been shaking his head harder the more I talked, slammed his fist into the bar table so that the glasses fell on their sides. “No! Everything he says is a lie.”
“Luke, in all fairness, why would he lie about that? He could furnish proof if you asked for it.”
He turned,anger thickening his features. “Then why not tell me about all this? Why did he make me think it was my fault she died?”
“He didn’t know that you felt that way. It’s screwed up, but like I said, he thought he was doing the best thing for you. He told me he wanted you to become normal—not consumed with greed like your cousins and uncle. And you know what, it worked.” Even though I told his father otherwise, I believed it now. Growing up away from all that money and influence—wasn’t that a good thing? “I think you should go back there and talk to him.”
He slammed a few notes on the bar table. “I don’t care. It’s too late for me to hear all of this.”
“I told your dad something.”
Luke’s wavering, drunken eyes fixed on me. “Told him what?”
“That I’m in love with you.”
He blinked and said nothing as my heart hammered my chest. Then he chuckled, and the sound cut through me like a knife.
“Did he buy it?”
Hollowness resonated inside me. He would never believe me.
“Luke, I meant it about the money. I don’t want you to pay me anymore. If I could, I would give it all back to you.”
His eyebrows were in danger of disappearing in his hair. “Why?”
My heart seemed to jump out of my chest.
Just say it.
A strong voice I had never heard before echoed inside my head; it filled me with courage.
Go after what you want.
“Because being with you has been the best time of my life and I don’t want to be paid for it. I want it to be real.”
His feverish hand closed over my wrist, making me meet his intense gaze.He was stunned. His deep blue eyes were wide and his mouth trembled.
I didn’t want to hear it. I leaned into him and his arm wrapped around my waist. My lips silenced his, and I tasted the alcohol swirling in his mouth and the smell of his hair that was his, clouding the airlike perfume. I remembered hotly the night we fucked and how his smell lingered all over my body. I deepened the kiss, knowing that this couldn’t last and that I might as well enjoy it. He looked at me, breathless, as though he had never seen me before.
“Luke,I know you don’t feel the same, but Ihad to tell you.”
My hand slid from his grasp and I walked away from him then. My heart and head felt lighter. Why was Iso happy andwracked with sadness? The possibilities were widening in front of melike a map with a hundred thousand different paths and destinations. I was free to explore them all.
* * *
After Luke sobered up, he found me waiting outside of the hospice on a park bench. He explained that we would see his relatives as a last ditch effort to convince his dad that this wasn’t a scam. It was plain that Luke had chosen to ignore everything I had said in the bar. We drove to theirhouse in complete silence.
Well, I guess I scared him off.
My jaw dropped as the car turned into a gated driveway, which led to the biggest mansion I had ever seen. It was Gatsby-level big, with a manicured lawn and flowers that looked like they were changed once a month. I swallowed as I saw workers entering and exiting the house like bees. Tables and chairs, silver and black balloons, trays and trays of catered food floated through that tiny entrance. I looked down at myself and swore. We just left the hospice and there had been no time to change.
“You didn’t tell me there was a damn party!”
“It’s my uncle’s birthday. Don’t worry, we’ll go upstairs and you can change. It’s only noon.”
I gaped at him. “You didn’t mention—I didn’t get a gift or anything!”
