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I got one look of his face, wretched with grief, before I grabbed my suitcase. I ripped it across the floor as I crashed through the door. My suitcase bounced on the steps and I sped up the hill in a blind rage, determined not to look back.
What the fuck are you doing?
I waited at the MUNI bus stop and half-expected Luke to come storming at meand demand for an apology, to call me out on my lies, but nothing happened. He swallowed every vicious word that came out of my mouth.
I'd neversee him again.
A silent scream ripped through my insides as I forced myself to turn my back on Luke. Not all fairytales have a happy ending, but it was still wonderful while it lasted. I would never forget him.
10
“You’re back!”
Natalie stood up from the couch as I entered our apartment, but quickly sank down at the look on my face.
“Jess, I’m so sorry. Ben swore he wouldn’t say a word.” Her arms trembled as she approached me and her cheeksshined with tears. “Please believe me.”
I softened when I saw how upset she was over it. She still should have kept her trap shut. “You told him when I asked you not to tell anyone. I made you promise.”
She gave a frustrated sigh and brushed her hair back with her right hand. “I know I really fucked things up for you both. I’m sorry.”
When I looked at her hands, I saw she wasn’t wearing her engagement ring.
Whoa. “What happened?”
Natalie’s eyes watered and then before I knew it, she had launched herself in my arms. She sobbed into my shoulder and I reached around to pat her back.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to marry him.”
Wow. “Seriously? You guys are perfect together.”
“I was sure before we wereengaged, but then he got his new position at the law firm. Now…eh. We barely see each other.”
“What are you talking about? Don’t you hang out every weekend?”
“No. He works on weekends. Damn it, Jess. I was so lonely when you left, and then he had to start this whole mess with your foster parents.”
I didn’t even consider how she must have suffered.“I don’t want you to break up with him because of me.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”
A small amount of guilt wormed its way inside my heart.
I do not want this. If Natalie and Ben weren’t meant together that was one thing—but I didn’t want her to break up over this. What if she regrets it years down the line and resents me for it?
I gently disengaged myself from her arms and sat down at the kitchen table. As I did, a wave of exhaustion slammed into me. I didn’t realize how tired I was from all the traveling.
“What about Luke?”
I was a lot less willing to discuss him. “What about him?”
Natalie rolled her eyes. “What happened between you guys?”
“It’s over.”
“Oh—because his father found out?”
I looked at her, debating whether to tell her the truth. “I sort of walked out on him.”
