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“I’m the dentist,” Derek said, puffing up his chest a bit. “Been in this office going on six years now and voted best in the city two years running.” When Percy shot him a confused frown, Derek sighed and rolled his eyes. “I know I sound like some bus advertisement, okay? But my dad’s a neurosurgeon, and my mom’s a cardiologist, so I have to brag to total strangers about how amazing I’m doing because they refuse to do it for me.”
“Rough,” Percy said.
“Eh. I get by.” Derek took another bite, then dug his phone out of his pocket. “Excuse me for a second. I’m gonna be that dick who meets a stranger and then gets on his phone.” He stared at the screen, then flinched. “Christ. Don’t you love how dating apps seem to have a big sign that says, ‘dick pics welcome here’?”
“Did you send it?” Percy asked because if he was being truthful, Derek did seem the type.
Derek choked on his swallow. “Oh my God, no. Contrary to most of my generation, my parents actually did teach me better. But I signed up on this stupid app like a week and a half ago, and I could literally start an online blog about unique dicks. I get, like, four a day at least.”
Percy went a bit green around the edges. He liked sex. He liked sex a lot. He was rather fond of dicks, though he wasn’t obsessed with them the way others seemed to be. But he was fairly sure he wouldn’t enjoy being constantly bombarded with nude strangers.
“Sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable. Unless you’re a homophobic asshole, then I hope you feel like shit,” Derek said.
Percy bit his lip, then asked, “Do I come across as a homophobic asshole? Because I’m not straight.”
Derek stared, then burst into laughter. “I mean, maybe not an asshole, but…” He tapped his chin. “It might be the designer suit that makes you look a bit like you’re one of those CEOs who chase skirt?”
“How’s that any different to your scrubs?” he asked, feeling a little insulted.
Derek’s grin widened. “Oh, it’s not. Everyone assumes I’m one of those hyper-straight guy’s guys because I’m on a beer league hockey team and have a home microbrewery as my hobby. And I’m incredibly passionate about the Cowboys, even though I’ve literally never been to Texas in my life.”
For a moment, it was almost like he was speaking a different language, but Percy felt oddly at ease with him. Not the same way Wren made him feel, but the way he felt a long time ago before his ex systematically destroyed his social life.
“Did I lose you again?” Derek asked.
Percy let out a quiet laugh. “Sorry. I want to blame it on the not being American thing, but honestly, I’ve been kind of a hermit for the last few years, so I’m only just relearning how to be social.”
“I can’t really blame you. People are the worst,” Derek said, then took another bite of his protein bar before sighing and attempting to swallow.
Out of pity, Percy offered his lunch over. “Go on, then. Not all of it’s tuna.”
Derek eyed the rest of the food, then carefully selected one of the eggs. “Okay, I’ve always been kind of a shithead when people are this extra, but this is cute as hell.”
Percy laughed. “Yeah. She’s in the middle of adopting, and I think she’s trying to make sure her caseworker is thoroughly impressed.” Not that Anthony needed to be impressed, Percy knew. He was firmly on Penny’s side, and he even seemed to like Percy a good deal. But he understood Penny’s fear.
Hell, he wasn’t sure what he’d do if it fell through and Lila went back into the system.
He cleared his throat and set his lunch box between them. “Help yourself. My appetite’s been a bit shit lately.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Derek asked, and when Percy bristled, he let out a low chuckle. “I swear I’m not some creeper dentist you’re gonna see on the news one day. I just know sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger. Since we’re not invested, you know?”
Derek did have a point. Percy bit his lip, staring down at his hands, and then he shrugged. “Life is more complicated than I ever expected it to be.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Derek nodding as he snagged a cucumber. “I had a…bad relationship a while back.”
“Like, never put the dishes away, lazy asshole bad? Or bad bad?”
Percy swallowed heavily. “Bad bad. Traumatic bad. Told myself I wouldn’t be dating again, and it was a vow I kept quite easily over the last few years.”
“And then you met a superhot dentist who stole all your lunch and you wanted to ask him out?”
Percy’s heart hammered in his chest, panic crawling up his spine. “Erm.” The immediate no would hurt the man’s feelings, but Percy wasn’t like that. He didn’t just fall for total strangers. At least, not often. Wren seemed to be the exception to the rule.
The absolute anomaly.
“I’m joking,” Derek said in a rush. “Oh my God, you’re actually panicking. Seriously, I’m kidding. I mean, I’d say yes if you asked me out, but I was just trying to…Jesus, I do this all the time, and you’d think I’d learn after the twelfth time I sent some poor person running for the hills…”
Percy took a calming breath. “It’s not you.”
Derek let out a humorless laugh. “Trust me, it is. I’m so bad at this. I promise I wasn’t asking you out after you just told me you were traumatized by an ex. I know what that means most of the time, and I’m going to assume it was at least close to as bad as I’m thinking.”
