Page 57 of London Fog


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Percy glanced to the left and shrugged. “He did—I think. He was signing it really fast. I couldn’t follow. And then he left.”

“Just like that?”

No, it wasn’t just like that. He’d asked Wren about his processors, and Percy knew damn well that was the thing that broke whatever weak thread of patience Wren had left.

“Percy?”

“We just had one massive moment of miscommunication, and now he’s not responding to my texts,” Percy said. “He was already so unsure about all this with me,” he said, the words creating an even deeper ache in his chest because they were true. “I’m not sure there’s any coming back from this.”

Derek sat back with a frown. “Look, I won’t pretend to understand what he goes through as a Deaf person, but do you seriously want to date a guy who has no patience while you’re actively learning his language?”

Percy swallowed heavily. “It’s…we’re not. It’s complicated. But we’re not dating.”

“Okay, then whatever’s going on. Even friendship,” Derek pointed out. “He’s totally allowed to be frustrated, but it’s not like you aren’t trying.”

Which was also true. And it wasn’t even for Wren. The whole thing was for Lila. If it hadn’t been for her, Percy wouldn’t have stuck around. He’d have just visited his sister, called it an amazing one-off with Wren, and then he’d have gone back to his quiet, lonely life.

And sitting there in that little booth with Derek across from him only made him more homesick for what was familiar and safe.

“I’m not trying to talk you out of being with him,” Derek said when it became obvious Percy had nothing to say. “I’d just like to remind you that you’re worth more than being cut off for one mistake.”

Percy wasn’t going to disagree with him. He knew damn well he deserved someone kind and loving and willing to be patient. He just didn’t understand why it couldn’t be with the man he wanted. He didn’t want Wren to change. He just wanted him to respect Percy enough to tell him when he fucked up and give him a chance to make it right.

His chest was tight suddenly, like there was a pressing weight against it. The realization of why he was bothered so damn much hit him like a freight train. Wren was nothing like his ex, and yet, he was being dismissed as readily as Evan always had. Like he was worth nothing. And it made all of Wren’s words from their night together taste like ash.

“Hey.”

Percy didn’t realize he was on the verge of a breakdown until Derek slid into the booth beside him and pressed a hand to each of his cheeks. Their gazes connected, and Percy realized he was just seconds away from spilling hot tears, which was mortifying. He had never wanted to be the kind of person who just lost control. That feeling of rigidity had only gotten worse after Evan, and he had no idea how Wren had managed to worm under his defenses so immediately.

He felt like his entire body was made of spiderweb cracks, and one perfectly timed word would destroy him.

“Hey,” Derek said again, stroking Percy’s cheeks with his thumb. “Do we need to get out of here?”

“In a second,” Percy managed. Part of him wanted to push Derek away and handle himself. Another part of him was so desperate for comfort, he wanted to curl up in warm arms and just be held. The only problem was he didn’t really want the arms to be Derek’s.

Pulling away slowly, Derek stayed in close. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Percy shook his head, snatching his water off the table and letting the bubbles burn away the ache in his throat. “It wasn’t you. It was me realizing this entire situation is fucking bollocks. He could have talked to me if he was upset.”

Derek nodded. “I don’t really understand what you two have going on, but that’s not how relationships work. Even if you’re not dating,” Derek quickly added when Percy’s mouth fell open to correct him. “It’s what friends do. It’s why I showed up at your office. I know I fucked up the other night, and that’s not the kind of person I am. And it kills me you got an ugly side of me.”

Percy shook his head. “It’s…”

“Don’t say it’s fine. It’s not. Dan was a fucking asshole, and the truth is, I’ve known it for a while. I just…I don’t know. I wanted him to be better, and it kills me when he won’t even try. But it’s not worth waiting around for him when he hurt someone I care about.” Derek rubbed a hand down his face.

Percy understood that. For so long, he wanted to believe that Evan could be a good person. That his insides could match the man he projected on the outside. That one day the kind man in front of their friends and colleagues would become the man that was also behind closed doors.

And Percy hung on to that hope for far too long.

“For what it’s worth,” he said, laying his hand on Derek’s arm, “he didn’t actually hurt me. He irritated me, and if Wren hadn’t been there, I would have told him off eventually. You’re allowed to have hope that your friend will change, Derek. Just…not at my expense.”

“No, yeah. I know,” Derek said, sort of quiet and breathy. “And I swear to God, never again. Okay? I seriously mean that. I told him I was done being his friend if he was going to behave like that, and he told me to fuck off. So he made the choice, not me. And honestly, I’m not even sad about it. It’s like the trash took itself out.”

Percy started to smile, but before he could respond, his phone began to buzz. He felt hope alight in his chest as he dug it out of his pocket, but it was short-lived. Wren’s name was on the screen, and he knew from the few words on the text preview that things were over before they even got started. His thumb shook as he swiped it across the screen to read.

Wren: This isn’t working. I tried, but it’s just not something I can do. You obviously have the ability to find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.

Percy: Do I get a say in this?

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