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And Percy couldn’t shield himself from hurt forever. If he tried, he’d end up alone, and he really didn’t want that. He was done lying to himself that the life he was living before was enough.
“Now what are you thinking?” Wren asked.
Percy laughed and leaned over, brushing a touch over Wren’s jaw. “Still you. And a bit about how miserable I’ve been.”
Wren winced. “Fuck.”
“Not because of you. Yes, I was hurt and…maybe more than a bit confused by what you wanted. But I’ve been hurting myself too. I kept saying that I could be alone and be content, and maybe without you showing up in my life, I could have found my way there.” He took a breath, then looked into Wren’s gorgeous eyes. “I owe you an apology for not being there the way you needed me. I learned that lesson but at your expense. For that, I’m sorry.”
Wren closed his eyes in a slow blink. Percy could see he was processing, and he knew bringing it up was a risk of opening wounds. But he had to do this too. “Thank you. And thank you for the way you were there for Ravi. It was ten times worse for him, but you stayed. So we’re good. I trust you.”
Percy let out a sharp breath. He didn’t know what to say. There were all these jagged edges inside of him, and they’d take a while to dull down and fit back together in whatever shape he was going to end up with Wren in his life.
After a second, Wren dragged a touch over his jaw. “What are you thinking now?”
“That I have you, and I’m done being afraid I’m going to lose you.”
Wren opened his mouth to say something, but Mouse suddenly wriggled off his lap and walked over to his dog bed like he was completely offended they were having a conversation over his body. Wren looked at Percy, and they both burst into laughter as Wren snuggled up into his space. Percy took Wren into his arms and held him tight for a long, long moment.
“Are you still worried that I might realize this isn’t what I want?” Wren finally asked.
Percy nodded. “Yes. And I’ll worry about that the rest of our lives, but it’s not because you’re aromantic—or greyromantic. None of that. It’s because I’ve been hurt and mistreated, and it’s given me a fear I doubt I’ll ever be able to shake. Not fully.” Percy tipped Wren’s face up to make sure that he could see his lips and understand him. “That’s on me though. I won’t burden you with that.”
Wren looked suddenly furious. He shifted back just a little, meeting Percy’s eyes with a ferocity Percy hadn’t seen before. “But I want that. I want the burden. With you, I…I don’t know. I see a love story between us, and for the first time ever, those fairy tales make sense.”
Percy blinked at him, and Wren rolled his eyes.
“Okay, fine,” Wren conceded. “They don’t make sense. Most of them sound like a goddamn nightmare, and thinking about doing this with any other person on the planet makes me want to pull my own face off.” He grinned, and Wren laughed, but only for a moment. His face went sober and serious. “But you, my perfect man,” he said, tracing a touch over Percy’s lips, making him tingle all over, “you make sense to me. I can’t really explain it, but I hope you trust me. I’m done running from that feeling.”
“You’ve had it all along?” Percy asked, surprised because he thought the absence had caused Wren to realize what he wanted.
With a short laugh, Wren shook his head. “Yes, you…plonker.”
Percy burst into laughter, unable to stop himself from pulling Wren close and kissing him long and slow. “No one says that,” he murmured when he pulled back.
Wren grinned and shrugged unapologetically. “Then teach me all the good slang words in British, and I’ll teach you all the good ones in ASL.”
Percy laughed again, softer this time but no less full of joy. “I’m not afraid,” he finally said when the moment settled into something quieter. “I’m not afraid of us. Of you. And I know it’s going to take a while for us to figure this out. And I know that it’s not going to look like anything relationship I’ve ever been in, but as long as you want to keep me?—”
“I want to keep you,” Wren said in a rush.
Percy pulled back and lifted his hands. ‘I belong to you.’
For that, Wren kissed him, but it was different. It was heated, and it was possessive. It was like Percy had flipped some switch, and he felt the familiar need in his body flare to life. Wren quickly climbed to his knees, pressing one between Percy’s spread legs, and he gripped him hard by the chin.
“You are mine,” he growled.
Percy shuddered. “Yes.”
“You’re my good boy. You’ve been so patient and so sweet and so kind to me,” Wren added, and Percy’s tremors got worse. “What do you want for your reward?”
“This,” Percy said automatically. “I…I want you to tell me what to do. Put me where you want me, command me, take over.”
Wren knocked their foreheads together and breathed like he needed to calm himself down. And fuck, did Percy understand that feeling. They were his own words, but he couldn’t believe how readily they’d come out of his mouth.
After a moment, Wren eased back and lifted his hands to sign, “Pay attention.”
It took Percy’s head a few seconds to switch between languages, and he knew this—well, it wasn’t a test, but it was a challenge. He needed to understand, to follow along without losing the moment. And he wanted that. Fuck, he wanted to be immersed in Wren’s world while he was on his knees.
