AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“It’s a chemical often found in things like antifreeze for cars. It’s what the humans were using during the war because it can overwhelm our ability to heal for short periods of time. My guess is they had you on a slow drip to keep you from being able to shift.” He cleared his throat as I felt a sort of inhuman rage crawling up my spine. “You’re not the first Wolf I’ve treated for it.”
“But you have treated Wolves for this,” I pressed. “I’m going to heal.”
His silence was telling. “There’s a lot your body has to overcome right now. You’ve suffered heart and liver damage, and your right lung seems weakened, though that appears to be from another injury,” he said.
I ran a hand down my side absently. “That was from an IED—I was still healing from it when I was taken. I…” Shaking my head, I forced myself to gather my thoughts. “How long did it take for other Wolves to heal from this?”
“I don’t want to compare them to you,” he said, and my blood ran cold. “The Wolves I treated had short-term exposure to the chemical—some more prolonged than others, but no one as long as you.” At that, his voice sounded sharp, but his anger was nothing compared to mine. “I believe that some of the damage will repair itself. Your heart has developed a slight murmur, but even that improved during the course of the MRI. The longer you’re off the poison, the stronger you’ll become.”
And that was all well and good, but I was also hearing what he wasn’t saying. “But my eyes…”
At that, he let out a sigh, and fear gripped me by the throat because I knew. I knew, and I was suddenly damn near desperate for him not to speak. Before I could do anything, Orion was there. He was at my side, his long fingers wrapped around my wrist, grounding me.
“General,” the doctor said, not bothering to correct himself this time, “there’s only so much medical science can do. There’s only so much our wolves can do for us. To put it bluntly, we cannot raise the dead.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” I rasped, and I felt Orion lean closer.
“Most of your organs survived because your wolf was able to keep some of the toxins at bay during the time you were on the drip, but your optic nerves are far more delicate. The eyes, the spine, the brain—they can only sustain so much damage before they’re beyond repair. The MRI showed an advanced case of toxic optic neuropathy.”
“I don’t know what that means,” I said, and my voice was coming out as a growl.
“It means that they weren’t able to heal before more permanent damage could be done.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, desperate to see something—anything, a starburst—but there was nothing. “I was seeing flashes of lights before.”
“That’s a sign your optic nerves were dying. You may see them again,” the doctor said. “Think of them like phantom pain from a missing limb. If there was a treatment, I would begin you on it now, but there isn’t. We need to focus on what you can heal.”
I said nothing. Shock numbed me, taking over. I hadn’t realized the doctor had gone until Orion’s scent overwhelmed the rest of my senses. I came to with his claws pricking the back of my neck, manipulating my nerves into releasing chemicals that soothed me, dragging me out of my panic.
But I didn’t want to be drawn out. I wanted to let it consume me because the one thing I hadn’t wanted to hear was the one thing the doctor had given me. I was blind. It was permanent. There was no coming back from this.
“Kor.”
I shook my head, but I wasn’t able to move much with him still pinning me. “Don’t.”
He wisely said nothing, withdrawing his hand once the shaking had subsided. I curled my hands into fists, widened my eyes, turned my head from left to right. I was desperate in that moment to prove the doctor wrong—to prove those tests wrong. How could I come back from so much—from battle, war, wounds that would have killed a lesser being—and now be felled by chemicals used to keep me docile?
I fought the urge to scratch at my eyes, warding off a still, small voice that told me if I caused them more damage, it would trigger healing. But I knew better. I might not have gotten a fancy education, but I knew how our bodies functioned. I’d sent Wolves home from the front lines with fates worse than darkness.
“I need to get out of here,” I finally said, and beside me, I felt Orion startle.
“I think they planned on keeping you.”
“I don’t give a shit.” I felt around the edges of the bed for my clothes, but it was empty save for the little sheet that was rough with hospital starch. “You heard the doctor. There’s nothing they can do.”
I had heart and liver damage which would probably heal, a weakened lung and only time would tell if I could come back from that. But my eyes…
I couldn’t stand to be there a second longer, and I was willing to stumble out with my bare ass on display if Orion didn’t help me out. He must have sensed it too, because when my feet hit the ground as I slid off the bed, he pushed the bundle of clothes that still smelled like Misha into my hands.
“There’s a bathroom straight ahead, like six feet.”
I couldn’t measure six feet in my head, so I put my hand in front of me and took shuffling steps until by fingers grazed the wood. After that, it was just a matter of finding the handle and opening it. For a second, my fingers searched out the light switch, but with a bigger pang in the center of my gut, I realized I didn’t need it.
I’d never need it.
Fuck.
My wolf was howling inside me to let it out, but I was still too weak. Maybe not so weak I couldn’t rip the sink from the wall, but that would only give them more cause to keep me. I had to keep my shit together so I could get somewhere other than the place that smelled like the lab, and then I’d…
