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“I think good men should never stop fighting for what they know is morally right. The problem is, morals are subjective, and the men with brute strength and little empathy always seize power.” I stopped and laughed. “God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
He waved me off. “For what it’s worth, I haven’t been dragged into a philosophical debate worth my time in years. It’s refreshing, Mr. Kasher. Thank you.”
I nodded, then shifted onto my side a little farther. “Does this have anything to do with what my results said?”
His eyes went a little soft and a little dark—like the color in them dimmed. “As you said, your father didn’t want to accept that human and Wolf cannot mix. And as of yet, no one has found a means of altering the DNA of either creature.”
“Except he has, hasn’t he?” I asked in a faint whisper.
“He’s tried,” Danyal said. “He’s made some progress with you.”
Numbness flooded my limbs, and my throat went dry. “I’m dying.”
“You’re changing.” Danyal rose to his feet and gripped the bars of my bed. “When the Major brought you in, he was concerned by two things—your scent, and General Titus’s reaction to it.”
My eyes went wide. “What…?”
“It seems your father found a way… and right now we have no idea how. Without access to his records, to your specific treatments, I can’t begin to guess how he managed to alter your DNA.” He paused, then clicked a button, and the bar on the bed lowered. “When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror, Mr. Kasher?”
I felt paralyzed with fear, unable to move even as he extended his hand to me. “I don’t…” I couldn’t think. Back at the safehouse? Or maybe long before it?
Danyal took my hand after my long hesitation, and he eased me to my feet. Walking was easier than I expected it to be, and I shuffled along after him as he opened the bathroom door and flicked on the light. I was too terrified to look, even as he urged me to the sink, and it was only after an eternity of feeling my heart thrashing against my chest that I found a small scrap of courage left.
My chin lifted, I blinked, and then I saw them.
A bright, furious orange glow now consumed the mahogany my irises had once been. My stomach plummeted to my feet, and the world around me swayed. “Does this mean I’m dying?” I asked in a ragged whisper. “Does this mean I will shift?”
His hand on my arm tightened for a quick second, and his words were filled with a dread that chilled me to my core. “To be honest, Mr. Kasher… I have no idea.”
Chapter Eight
KOR
I didn’t feel settled in my new quarters until Orion led me to the bedroom, and it was the sudden flood of my things—scents I had been deprived of for months—that allowed some of the tension to ease out of my body. I could feel Orion hovering behind me, no doubt waiting for me to crack and break, but I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.
I wasn’t going to give anyone the satisfaction. I still had no idea how I was going to cope with my new reality and my status as Alpha, but I chose in the moment to allow myself some measure of relief that I was finally free. At some point, I would put the lab behind me. I had survived too long, through too much, to let an injury ruin what I might be capable of doing.
Even if it was permanent.
When Orion’s heartbeat faded as he moved to the living room, I closed the door and pressed my forehead to the wood. I doubted the room was much different than any of the officer’s quarters I’d occupied in strongholds or bases from the war. It would be plain—a single bed, a dresser, and if I was particularly lucky, a closet. I was fully aware we were underground, which meant a window was unlikely, but I could feel air pumping from a vent, and it was enough to keep me from feeling entirely claustrophobic.
I was off-kilter without being able to tell how big my space was—and I knew there were ways. Echoes would tell me. We used those in training when our vision was obscured—and my ears were well equipped to listen for those things. But I knew I was shaken from learning that my sight wouldn’t return. I felt newborn and helpless, and I couldn’t deny that I needed to grieve.
With an unsteady breath, I stretched my hand along the wall, then began careful, shuffling steps like an old man, tracing each corner of the room. It was exactly as I suspected. A bed along the far wall, a night table beside it, a dresser. There were no other door handles besides the exit, but I wasn’t going to complain about a lack of closet space now that I was no longer strapped to a bed.
The short trek left me breathless, though, and frustrated by how long it was taking for my wolf to emerge and heal me. I could feel the injury to my heart even more now that I had been made aware of it and the weakness in my lungs. I thought it was a matter of being immobile for so long, but I shouldn’t have been surprised that everything they had pumped through my veins and into my lungs through masks was tearing me into small pieces.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I dropped my head into my hands and took a shuddering breath. I could hear Orion pacing in the next room. I could feel his agitation through the pack bond. He wanted to call in for more reinforcements. He was unsure there was even a point to me being there now. He didn’t know what he was going to tell the Alphas, and one of the Alphas had him on edge.
There could be a coup to oust me if I didn’t get my shit together in enough time.
When I heard his footsteps approach the door again, I dropped my hands from my face and turned it toward the sound of it opening.
“Fuck, it’s dark. We need to get a light in here for…” He stopped, and I heard him swear faintly under his breath.
I offered him a grimace and a shrug as I shuffled forward until I was standing at the edge of the bed. “It’ll be a good idea for other people when they come by.” Assuming they would.
Orion cleared his throat. “I know this is gonna take some time. I know this fucking sucks…”
