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“Once you try my mom’s breakfast, you’ll understand why I’m excited.”
“I have no doubt. If it’s anything like her lasagna, I’ll be in an extreme food coma.”
I move off the bed and rifle through my suitcase. I slip on a pair of jeans and tug my shirt over my head. Lacey is moving behind me, and I hear the zip of her bag and the rustle of her clothes.
“We’re going to be running around today, but it’s supposed to be cold. Make sure to bundle up,” I say over my shoulder. I find my favorite blue pullover and tuck it under my arm. “You can leave a jacket in the car, too. You’ll ride with me and Dad.”
I’m about to turn around and ask her if she wants to use the bathroom first, but her arms wrap around me from behind. They slide around my waist and pull me flush against her chest. Her cheek rests on my back, in the spot between my shoulder blades, and I fold my hands over hers.
“I know today is going to be busy,” she says into my shirt. Her words sneak through the threadbare cotton and are warm on my skin. “Before we get going, I wanted to take a second to tell you how proud I am of you. You’re one of my favorite people in the world, Shawn, and getting to be here with you while you—we—do something so important means more to me than any gift ever will.”
“Hey.” I tug on her arms, a gentle pull to bring her in front of me. Her back rests against the wall and her smile is soft around the edges. “Today has always been my favorite day of the year, but now that you’re here, it’s even better. Before you and I started this—this thing between us, there was a ghost that felt like it was following me. I could feel it in my back. Over my shoulder, when I watched Maggie and Aiden together. The closer we got to December, the more dim everything felt. It wasn’t like how it’s always been.”
I pause for a breath to carefully choose my next words. I’m done talking about what’s happening between us like it’s pretend. Like it’s fake. Like she and I both can’t feel the immense pull we have toward each other, a thread unraveling as we get closer and closer.
I can tell it’s happening when our gazes lock from across the room. When she looks up at me from my childhood bed late at night, her chin on my chest and a constellation of freckles on her bare shoulders, and asks me to tell her about how I fell in love with football like it’s the most important story in the world.
“And then?” she asks, coaxing me forward.
“Then I kissed you during the middle of a football game. What I thought was the stupidest thing I could have ever done, the biggest mistake that would have ruined our friendship and everything I cared about, ended up being the greatest decision of my life. That ghost is gone, and now it’s just you. And, yeah, you like to talk in your sleep about marine birds—I’m partial to puffins, if we’re keeping track—but I guess I didn’t realize how fuckinglonelyI was until I kissed you. Until I met you, I guess. I was, and now I’m not. You here with me, willing and eager to join in and do something I love, well.” I shake my head and drop my chin to my chest. I don’t know where this whole fucking monologue of emotions is coming from, but I can’t stop. “It’s the dream, really.”
Lacey’s breath stutters. She squeezes me impossibly tight, almost hard enough to knock the wind out of me. I run my hands up her arms then back down. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. If you gave me a million options, I’d choose here with you every single time.”
“Funny. I’d pick you a million times, too.”
“I’m so happy,” she says, but it’s soft. Like she’s not sure she’s allowed to admit it and she’s been holding onto a secret for years. “This has been the best holiday season ever, and it’s not even Christmas yet. This sounds so cheesy, but there’s all this joy in my life, and I want to keep spreading that joy. I’m healthy. I have a good job and great friends. I love my parents, and even though I’m not spending Christmas with them, I know I’ll see them soon. And then there’s you.”
“Yeah?” I tip her chin back and stare at her. She looks delicate in the early morning light, like someone I need to—want to—take care of not just for a few more days, but for years and years. “What about me?”
“You’re my best friend. The person I have the most fun with and the person I laugh the loudest with. I didn’t expect you to kiss me at your game, but I’m so glad you did. You’re my favorite present this year, Shawn. Totally unexpected and exactly what I wanted.”
“Flirting with me, Daniels?” I ask, and she rolls her eyes.
“See if I’m ever nice to you again,” she says. She tries to wiggle out of my hold, but I don’t let her.
“Hey. You’re my favorite present too, Lacey girl. I hope you know that. Nothing under my tree will be as wonderful as you.”
She blinks and lifts up on her toes. She’s closer to me now, and her eyes sparkle like stars. Her lips brush against mine in the faintest of kisses, but it’s heaven.
She’s warm and soft and perfect. A place I want to curl up and stay awhile. It’s too quick, barely long enough for me to indulge in how good she tastes, how sweet the sound of her sigh is, how nice it is to have her hands around my neck before she’s pulling away.
“I know.” She nods against my shirt and unwinds her arms from my body. “I’m going to freshen up.”
“Okay. Come downstairs when you’re ready. I’ll get the food going.”
I peek at her over my shoulder as she heads to the bathroom, and when I do, I find her looking at me, too.
* * *
The kitchen is empty.
I click on the stove and pull a pan out from under the oven. Even with the remodel, everything is in the exact same place it was twenty-five years ago, down to the spatula in the drawer to my right and the spice rack in the cabinet to my left. I move around, grabbing everything I need for scrambled eggs and toast, and I get to work.
The stairs creak and groan, and then there are soft footsteps on the hardwood floor. Lacey appears around the corner, already bundled up with a puffy white jacket that makes her look like a marshmallow, and I smile at the bright pink beanie on her head.
“I love that hat,” I say.
“You do?” She touches the big pom pom on top. “It’s not over the top?”
