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I snort. “No way. Shawn and I have been friends for a while, and I’ve never had an attraction toward him before. If I did, that crush would’ve already come up, right?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I think you can develop feelings for someone over time, too. Like, maybe because you’re spending so much time together, you’re getting butterflies when he’s around. But don’t listen to me. I’m not a relationship expert. I’m dating someone I slept with after knowing him for a couple hours and could tell he was the one after spending one night together.”
“What’s it like to be God’s favorite?” I ask. I sigh and put my chin in my hand. “I wish I knew what Shawn was thinking. Is he trying to get me riled up because he thinks it’s funny? Is he doing it because that’s how he feels, too, and he wants to test the waters?”
“Here’s an idea: you couldaskhim how he feels,” she suggests. “Healthy communication goes a long way.”
“Alright, let’s pump the brakes. What if I ask him and I’m reading everything wrong? I might ruin our friendship.”
“What if you ask him and youaren’treading everything wrong?” she counters. “Then you could be in a relationship with your best friend.”
“Too risky,” I say. “Maybe we could do a friends-with-benefits thing. We could fuck once and get it out of our systems.”
Maggie chokes on her drink, and I pat her on the back. “You want to sleep with Shawn?” she asks.
“Have youseenhim? His hands are massive, and you know what they say about guys with big hands. And, fuck, those tattoos.”
“I’m all for sexual exploration and doing what makes you happy. If that’s sleeping with Shawn, then I’ll cheer you on. Just be careful, Lace. It’s hard to separate emotions from the physical component sometimes. I mean, hell. Aiden and I were supposed to have a one-night stand without any strings attached. Now look at us; we’re buying bowls at Williams Sonoma on the weekends.”
“Yeah, but you two are relationship people. Shawn and I aren’t. We’re both single, and we’ve been single for a while. I don’t know what to do, Mags. It drives me crazy when he touches me. I’m using my vibrator every night and Istillthink about what his head would look like between my legs,” I say.
I should tell her he had food sent to my office on the day I was too busy to pop out and grab something for myself.
I should tell her he stopped by my apartment after the Titans’ loss. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up in my bed the next morning, and I think he carried me there. I found a piece of scrap paper withgood nightwritten in his handwriting on my kitchen counter when I made a cup of coffee, and I grinned for five minutes.
I’m not sure I didn’t dream the whole encounter.
Spending time with him has been nice. He’s thoughtful and considerate, and if Iwerelooking to date someone, he’s exactly the kind of guy it would be. But we’re from different worlds; I end the day covered in boogers with cotton balls in my pockets and dark circles under my eyes. Shawn lives in a penthouse apartment and makesmillions of dollarsa year. He said he was picky, and that probably means he’s looking for a woman who wears Prada and Chanel out to Sunday brunch. Someone who can talk to reporters and not make an ass of themselves.
We work so well as friends. We’ve always worked as friends, and we’ve never crossed that line. I can’t help but be curious about what it would be like to tumble into bed with him, though.
Not when he calls mehisand manages to find the two inches of bare skin under my outfits and touches me there.
He’s attractive and single. We’re doing thingsrealcouples do, just without the physical payoff.
And I kind of want the physical payoff.
I’m a firm believer that men and women can be sexually attracted to each other without letting it turn messy with feelings and love declarations. I’m someone who knows what I want, and I want to have some fun with Shawn.
If we already agreed we’d walk out of our fake relationship as friends, why can’t we say the same for after we see each other naked?
“You’re thinking hard,” Maggie says, and I bite back a smile.
“Sorry. I’m distracted. What are you getting Aiden for Christmas?”
“Oh.” She blushes and takes a long sip of her drink. “I’m giving him boudoir photos of me. I thought it would be a nice callback to how we met, except with even fewer clothes.”
“I love that.” I wrap my arm around her and rest my head on her shoulder. “I’m so happy you’re happy, Mags. You deserve it.”
“It’s not the life I thought I’d have, but I think that’s what makes it even more special. The best things are unexpected, and finding Aiden and Maven was certainly unexpected. I’m so grateful for my little family,” she says, and she wipes her eyes. “Sorry. You know the holidays make me emotional and sentimental.”
“I know. You don’t have to apologize to me. I love you for your tears. God knows you have enough for the both of us,” I say, and she laughs.
“I do, don’t I?” She pokes my side and lifts her chin. “Someone’s coming this way.”
I glance up and see Shawn walking toward us. He smiles as he approaches, his hands tucked in his pockets and his hat backwards on his head.
Why does he have to be so goddamn attractive?
