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“You’re going to look at my ass again, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am. You can’t show up in an outfit like that and expect me tonotcheck out your ass. For the record, it looks just as good with clothes as without, and I’m kind of wondering what it would look like with my handprint on your skin.”
“A high compliment.” Lacey pats my cheek and heads for the grand ballroom where the party is taking place. She glances at me over her shoulder, and I have to drag my attention away from her hips. “Oh, one more thing. It would look fucking fantastic with your handprint on it, but I guess we’ll never know, will we? Save me a dance, Holmes.”
This woman is going to kill me.
* * *
The party turnsrowdy after I give my speech.
Music blares from the speakers, and handles of vodka are passed around. Dallas is standing on a table, and my defensive line have taken control of the DJ booth.
I’m hiding out in the back of the room, a pain in my head and a tightness in my chest. I need a minute away from all the noise, but it’s not much better over here.
I chug back the last sip of my beer and stand up, sliding out of the side entrance unnoticed and out into the hallway. There’s a door to my left, and I push it open to a parking lot.
I find a spot on the curb and sit down, stretching my legs out in front of me. The snow soaks through my pants, but I don’t care. It’s quiet out here under the stars, and I can breathe a sigh of relief in the cool night air.
Behind me, I hear the click-clack of high heels. I turn my head to the side, ready to hide behind a bush, when I spot Lacey walking toward me. She’s not wearing her jacket, and she rubs her hands up and down her arms.
“What are you doing out here?” she asks. She stops a few yards away from me and tilts her head to the side.
“I needed a minute. It was getting too loud in there for me. I felt…” I trail off and shake my head.Weak, is what I want to say, but I know my therapist doesn’t like that word. “I felt overwhelmed.”
“I understand.” She points at the spot next to me, the dirty sidewalk covered in salt and sand to keep snow from sticking to the concrete. “Can I join you?”
“I don’t want you to ruin your dress.” I take off my tuxedo jacket and set it on the curb. “But I’d love if you joined me.”
Lacey smiles and walks my way. She plops down beside me and scoots close. “The stars are pretty tonight,” she says.
“Yeah. They are.” I tip my head back to look at the sky. Snowflakes start to fall, and I shiver. “Are you having fun?”
“I was until I saw my date disappear.” She rests her head on my shoulder and loops her hands around my arms. “I was worried about you. Are you okay?”
I hesitate. The last time I talked about this with someone, it ended up all over the internet. It made me close off, keeping personal details to myself instead of divulging them to everyone who asks. I don’t owe anyone anything, but I know Lacey isn’t like that.
She’s asking because she genuinely cares, and she wants to make sure I’m alright. I’m not used to that feeling, and the tension in my chest loosens the longer she stays by my side.
“It felt like the beginning of a panic attack,” I explain, and I offer her a shrug. “It’s the second time it’s happened this season, and I don’t know what’s been going on lately.”
She hums and stares out at the parking lot. “I’m not a therapist, but I have an idea. Maybe it’s because you have a lot on your plate. The Titans have the best win streak of your career as head coach. You kissed your friend in front of seventy thousand people and you told your parents you’re bringing that same friend home for the holidays as your girlfriend, even though you aren’t really dating.” She pauses and chuckles softly. “What am I forgetting?”
“When you put it that way, it’s a wonder I haven’t fallen apart yet.” I laugh with her and put my chin on the top of her head. “Thanks for putting it in perspective. It’s good to see the big picture.”
“Just think: you only have a couple more weeks until we can stage a break up. You can go back to focusingjuston football. The Titans will make the Super Bowl. I’ll get the promotion I want, and we’ll all live happily ever after,” Lacey says.
My smile dips into a frown. I know our agreement has an end date, a very obvious circle on the calendar that tells us when we’re going to part ways, but I’ve liked having Lacey around.
I guess Lacey’salwaysbeen around, but it’s fun to have someone to bring to events and to talk to late at night. It might stay like this when we walk away from each other, but it might not. She’ll have a boyfriend eventually, and I’ll probably have a girlfriend somewhere down the road. You can’t stay up and text your best friend until two in the morning when you have someone else sleeping beside you, can you?
“Why are you single?” I blurt out, and she pulls away to glance at me. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to shout it at you. You’re just… you’ve been great these last couple of weeks. Is there a reason you don’t date?”
“It’s not so much that I don’t date, but more like I don’tliketo date.” She pushes her shoe into a melted pile of snow and moves the heel from side to side. “I’m going to say something that’s going to come across as incredibly narcissistic, and I don’t mean for it to sound that way.”
“Well, fuck, now you have to tell me,” I say. I turn my body so our knees press against each other, and I watch her, anxiously waiting to hear more. “Go on.”
“A lot of men are intimidated by my success and my career. And, I know I’m not a literal brain surgeon like Maggie, but even her ex-husband made comments from time to time about howhewas supposed to be the breadwinner in the family, not her. I worked hard in school. I took out loans and paid them off. Now I’m making good money, and I shouldn’t be embarrassed by that. Men I’ve met have asked if I’d quit my job when I was ready to settle down. If I’ll stop working when I decide to have kids and start a family. That’s kind of bullshit, isn’t it?” Lacey asks, and there’s passion in her voice. “I’m a woman who makes two hundred thousand dollars a year. I’m smart and I’m successful. I don’t have time for boys who don’t see my worth and expect me to change to fittheirneeds.”
