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“You think my sadness is sexy?”
“Everything about you is sexy.”
I turn my head and kiss the center of his palm. “Should I leave? I can go and stay with my dad. Or Isabella.”
“Leave?” Dallas frowns, and he hooks his fingers around my chin. “Why?”
“I don’t know. I thought you might want some space after… that. Maybe you need some time to clear your head.”
“My head has never been clearer, and I don’t want to be away from you for a single second. Unless you want to go?” he asks, and I hear the hesitation in his question.
“I don’t want to go,” I whisper. Before a tear can fall, he’s wrapping me in his arms. I’m enveloped by the warmth of hischest. The scent of his soap from his shower. The firm press of his muscles and how gently he holds me. “I want to stay here with you.”
“Good,” he says into the top of my head. The word gets lost somewhere in my hair, and he doesn’t let me go. It makes me think he’s afraid I might slip away. “I’m glad.”
“But we should talk,” I say to the cotton of his threadbare shirt. “About what happened.”
“Yeah.” Dallas untangles our limbs and laces our fingers together. “Let’s go to our room.”
It feels like someone takes an ax to my heart.
He pulls me down the hall, a steady rock against strong waves. We pass the same photos I admired when he gave me a tour of the apartment for the first time. He’s added some new ones in the months that have passed.
The three of us at the zoo and our sunburned noses.
The cake June and I made for Dallas’s birthday and the chocolate on our faces.
Me and June at the playground, her in my lap as we come down a metal slide.
Dallas with JB on his shoulders, a snapshot I took from behind when we went and sawSesame Street Live!
All three of us at Six Flags with balloon hats on our heads and hotdogs in our hands.
It’s a timeline of us falling in love.
If I arranged them chronologically, I wonder if I’d find the moment on our faces when we knew how we felt about the other.
Dallas opens the bedroom door, and I walk inside.
“Shawn knows,” I say. “Shawn knows, and he’s pissed.”
“Does that bother you?”
“Bother me? No.” I take a deep breath and smooth my hands over my thighs. “But what about my job? I know we understood the risks that came with seeing each other. Now that themoment is here, it’s terrifying. I’m sure Shawn is printing out my termination papers now. It’s going to be hard to say goodbye to something I love.”
“I’m not going to let you get fired,” Dallas says. There’s ferocity in his tone, but when he cups my cheeks, it’s soft and tender.
“How?” I laugh, and it’s bitter. “You’re you and I’m me. Who do you think they’re going to let go? The Super Bowl champion? Or the lowly photographer who snaps a couple of photos once a week? I’m replaceable, Dallas, and you’re not.”
“Hey.” His thumb wipes away a tear that escapes from my eyes. “You do so much more than snap a couple photos. You’ve built a brand and a following. People adore your work because it’sgood, Maven. If anyone’s going to go, it’s going to be me. I’ve played enough football to last me twenty lifetimes. I’m not going to let you give up your dream just so I can keep kicking a ball around.”
“What?” I whisper, and I go still. “What are you talking about?”
“If it comes down to it, I’ll retire. I’ll walk away from the game. I’ve accomplished everything I set out to do when I entered the league, and then some. I have two rings—and maybe a third soon. I’ve broken records. It’s all been fine and good, but I don’t care about them anymore. The thought of spending every day and every night with my daughter and the woman I love beats the hell out of getting knocked around on the field.”
“You can’t give upyourdream.” I grip his collar and my fingers tangle with his—my—necklace. “That’s not fair.”
“Don’t you get it?” Dallas brushes his nose against mine, and I let out a breath. My heart races in my chest, and somehow, even with his hands on me, he’s still too far away. “Dreams change. You’re what I want now. You and June and the family we’ve created. I don’t care about the rest. I’ve done my time, andI’m ready to settle down. I’m ready to not be away from the best things in my life day after day. Because,fuck, Mae. I miss you when I’m gone. I miss you so fucking much my heart hurts. I can’t—I don’t know how long I can do this schedule when all I want is to be with you. Everything else is just extra shit I can live without. I can’t live without you.”
