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“Yes,” I say, and I set down my drink. I wrap my hand around her ankle and rub my thumb up her calf. Touching her, even in this platonic, nonsexual way, settles me, and I sigh when she scoots closer. “You know I’ll tell you anything.”
“She’s not in the picture, is she?”
“I haven’t talked to her since the night we were together. Lawyers have handled everything between us. I was celebrating an away game with some of my teammates. We went to this dive bar away from the Vegas strip, and I met a woman who didn’t seem to know who I was.”
It all comes flooding back to me.
My teammates have one night stands all the time.
They have multiple women in and out of their hotel rooms. A list of numbers for every city we touch down in. I’ve never been a fan of all that attention, though. It’s not because I’m waiting for The One or some other bullshit like that. I don’t like people thinking I’m high and mighty just because I’m on television once a week.
It was different the night June was conceived.
I was amped up from a great win, and nothing could rain on my parade. I gave into that attentiveness. I welcomed the free drinks and the free food. It was all consuming, but it was particularly nice from the mysterious brunette who kept flirting with me.
Instead of walking away and slipping into bed alone like I normally did, I stuck around.
“What happened?” Maven asks gently, and I take a deep breath.
“I asked her back to my room. I was still on a celebratory high and didn’t think twice when she told me she was on birth control and not looking for anything serious. I wasn’t either. I mean, fuck. I knew I’d be inking a big contract during the summer.I was in the prime of life. I had no responsibilities. No one to answer to. It was me and football, and that was it.”
“Until it wasn’t?” she asks, and I nod.
“Nine months later, I received a call that told me I was going to be a father. June’s birth mother handed over parental rights and custody in exchange for not asking for any money. And the craziest part? The only reason she slept with me was because she needed to cross offbag a professional athletefrom her bachelorette scavenger hunt list.”
“Oh, Dallas.”
I thought someone was fucking with me when I got the call.
I requested multiple paternity tests and receipts from doctor’s visits. I had an investigator do a deep dive into her past to see if she had done this before, because up to this point, I had beenso fucking careful.
The one time I let go, only for a night, my entire world changed. I’ve been locked up ever since, too afraid to step a toe out of line.
“There was resentment at first,” I admit. “Toward her. Toward June. It’s not like I wanted to live this luxurious life on yachts with models or anything like that. You know that’s not my scene.”
“Are you sure? I thought I saw some photos of you in Saint-Tropez,” Maven jokes, lightening the mood, and I pinch her shin.
“Not me, I’m afraid. Before I got the call about June, everything was easy. Everything was simple. My whole future was planned out for me: I was going to play in the league for a decade and a half, then I’d settle down. I’d always wanted to be the fun uncle, never a dad.”
“But now you’re a dad.”
“Yeah. All of a sudden, I was building a crib. I was singing lullabies. My priorities changed, and it was scary at first. Fuck, it’s still scary. Most days I’m not sure I’m equipped to be a father.But now that I’m here on the other side, I hate myself for being so mad about June in the beginning. She’s the greatest gift I’ve ever been given. I love her so fucking much, and I hope she knows that. When I look at her, I know she’s going to be the only person in my life who’s ever going to love me wholly and completely. She’s the only one who will ever love me for me, not for my career or how many games I play.”
I tip my head back and stare at the ceiling. The lights blur, a watery mix of yellows and whites, and I squeeze my eyes shut.
“Sorry,” I mumble. “This whole deep as fuck thing is getting really fucking old.”
“Don’t you dare apologize to me,” Maven says with ferocity. The sofa dips, and the next thing I know, she’s wrapping her arms around me in a hug. “I’m so proud of you, Dallas. You’ve grown as a person. As a father. June knows how much you love her. You tell her as much by showing up every single day, and she’s going to love you back long after you retire and people forget who you are. New records will be set. Your accomplishments will start to fade away. But she’s still going to come home every night, excited to see you, because you’re herdad, and you’re doing a damn good job.”
“Christ.” I slip my arms around her waist and bury my face in her hair. “Now you’ve started the waterworks, Maven. God dammit.”
Her laugh rumbles against my chest, and I hold her even tighter. “We’re going to have to buy a new couch at the end of the season. Something a little happier than this one, because it’s seen some shit.”
“If furniture could talk.” I sigh and pull away, resting my chin on top of her head. My hand runs down her spine then back up, and I’m so glad she’s here.
“You’re wrong, you know.” Maven untangles herself and looks up at me. “June’s not the only one who likes you for morethan your career. I do too. And whatever woman you end up with one day will as well. You’re the kindest, most gentle man I’ve ever met, and if you lost football tomorrow, I’d still think the same thing.”
What if I want to end up with you?I think, and I wish I could hold her again.
