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Prologue
Hadley- 7 months ago…
I clutched the purse against my side as I walked up the steps with a certain amount of vigor you’d never see from me on any other given day coming home from work. Normally after working a twelve-hour shift at the nursing home I’d drag my white slip-resistant sneakers across the metal stairway with my head slumped. Our apartment was on the third floor. I always tried to make it up to my bed to sleep for a few hours before Lucy got up. Sleep was scarce between a full-time job, nursing school, and being Lucy’s mommy.
But tonight was different. I gripped the purse once more with a beaming face, recalling my earlier conversation with Georgie at work.
“Well?” Georgie arched an eyebrow as I stepped out of one of the two stalls in the bathroom at work. “What does it say?”
I couldn’t keep the happiness off my face as I held the stick in my hand. “I’m pregnant.”
“Lord, child.” She shook her head and was slow to smile. “I didn’t think you were serious about trying for your second one.”
“I wanted Lucy to grow up with a brother or sister close to her age,” came my normal response as of late, since I heard something similar from Mom and worse from Dad weeks ago when I told them Scott and I were trying for another baby.
There was a slight hesitation before she asked, “Has Scott found a job yet?” I knew Georgie. She wanted to say more, but she knew how defensive I got about the subject.
I looked down to keep from seeing her scrutinizing stare. “He’s focusing on school right now. He’s only got one more year—”
“I thought he got into the police academy?” she interrupted.
I felt my cheeks flush with both anger and reluctance. I hated that I even told people Scott had gotten into the academy. I remembered being so proud of him and not being able to help it. “It didn’t work out,” was all I told her.
Scott had gotten his Mom to drive three hours to pick him up on the same day I dropped him off there. Scott hadn’t lasted a day, and I wished I had been surprised about that outcome. I was disappointed in him and myself. I wanted him to like what he did, but I hated how enthusiastic he got speaking about his plans when he hadn’t even given it a full day.
“Oh, what’s he gonna do now?”
“Doctor,” I winced as I said it. Georgie nodded, unimpressed or maybe that was her response toward my tight expression.
“That’s a long time.”
I shrugged. “He seems excited about it.” He seemed eager about becoming a police officer too. I closed my eyes and hated myself every time I doubted him. I should be the one that believed in him most, and I was… Maybe just not lately.
There was only so many disappointments a girl could endure before she expected the inevitable letdown. I was fine with Scott doing anything. He was the one hung up on all these things he thought he was supposed to be. Take the police academy… He was so hyped for months, but the week before he was to start I sensed his change. That morning, I thought he wouldn’t have even gone at all if I hadn’t been the one to wake him up. After that, he went through a phase of saying he wanted to become a lawyer. Now it was a doctor. In between all of that, he had a job at McDonald’s only to quit a week later saying he couldn’t deal with the manager. We’d just found out that I was pregnant after graduation. I was hopeful when he found a job at the Family Dollar, but that lasted less than a week. That was when I’d taken a certified nursing assistant class. Then I started working at the nursing home. Honestly, I’d been in college as long as Scott had.
Frankly, I believed Scott was someone who might not ever keep a job. He was good at painting beautiful pictures of what our life could be like provided he got this or that job.
The thing was, I liked our life. I thought we were happy. Although Lucy was unplanned, we loved her wholeheartedly, and that was something I couldn’t fault Scott about. It was why I stood by him even when my dad said I was an idiot. Scott watched Lucy while I worked. I was perfectly okay with being the one that worked. The one that made a living while he became a stay-at-home dad. It was the freaking twenty-first century. Times were different and things were changing, but people still frowned upon a woman footing the bills.
Maybe years down the line, when Scott finished medical school and our kids were a little older, he’d become the doctor he wanted. Maybe he wouldn’t. Either way, I loved him. Yes, Scott was lazy about work, but he was Lucy’s father. He was the man I dated throughout high school, and the father of our soon-to-be son or daughter in my tummy.I chose all of this—the life I carried, Scott, Lucy, and even our small apartment—because I knew things would be better for us in another year. I’d be finished with the nursing program, and I’d get a job at the hospital where I desperately wanted to be. I loved my co-workers and the residents, but I was anxious for better working hours. And my family needed the better pay.
“Yeah, but it works out. He gets to stay home with Lucy while I work,” I said honestly.
“Pay no mind to me, Hadley. You know I’m too old to understand a man staying at home playing video games instead of working.” She frowned as she walked toward the exit.
“He’s home with Lucy right now,” I told her.
“It’s bedtime of course. He doesn’t have to do much babysitting when she’s sleeping. Does he watch her when you’re in class too?”
I bit the inside of my cheek. My first extinct was to defend Scott. It got old when you heard these conversations time and time again. If Scott didn’t have plans, he watched Lucy. Unfortunately, he went out a lot, leaving my parents to watch Lucy since I had classes after work. Most of the time, I couldn’t get more than a couple hours of sleep after picking her up since she’d be awake, and he didn’t come home until it was time for me to leave again.
“He does sometimes,” I sniffed, feeling down just minutes after being on cloud nine. I stared at the pregnancy test in my hand. “We’re happy, Georgie. Is it too much to ask for you to be happy for me? You know how much I’ve wanted this baby.”
She sighed, came toward me, and wrapped me in her meaty arms. “I’m sorry. I know you’re happy. I won’t say no more about it.”
“You always say that,” I accused, but I was smiling when she pulled away from me.
“And I always will. You deserve better.”
