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I flinched at the way Scott called me baby. Funny. I never recalled Scott using that pet name with me. Elijah called me his baby. It felt different when he said it—like he cared about me. Hearing it from Scott didn’t even come close.
“I miss you guys. It’s making me hateful that Eli doesn’t know me. Lucy, don’t you miss your dad?” She grabbed my side and smashed her face against my scrub bottoms refusing to answer or look at Scott.
“That’s not my fault,” I repeated with a sigh.
“You kicked me out.”
“That shouldn’t stop you from seeing Lucy or getting to know Eli!” I glanced over at his mom. “I think you guys should see them a few hours here and there before trying to spend the night again.”
“What?” she said.
“Tell them bye, Lucy.”
“Bye,” Lucy whispered, urging me to the car. I turned around and headed for it with Lucy right by my side.
I tensed up when I heard gravel crunching behind me. Scott yelled, “Don’t think I don’t know about Elijah? Lucy told me. You think I’m going to let you keep that around my kids? Keep up your shit, and you’ll see that I’m serious.”
Ignoring him, I opened the back door and buckled Eli in first before helping Lucy. There were so many things I wanted to say, but I realized none of it mattered when Scott didn’t really care. Tears filled my eyes. Admitting that he only saw his kids as a way to hurt me was too much to handle.
I cried. Lucy saw it since I had to buckle her up. By the time I finished, the tears ran down my cheeks with a vengeance. I broke some more when she cried with me. “Don’t cry,” I told her sternly, wiping away the tears on my face that continued to fall.
Scott was still running his mouth, but I crossed him out of my mind. I walked around and climbed in the driver’s seat and drove off. “I don’t want to go back,” Lucy whimpered as I drove.
“Want to tell me what happened?” I wiped my eyes as I glanced at her through the rearview mirror.
“They just kept talking and talking about you.” She threw her head back, crying harder than before. My tears fell as I focused on the road. “I hate when they talk about you. It makes me cry.”
“It’s okay, Lucy.” Her words upset me. I shouldn’t have let her go. I should have said no.
“I don’t want to live at Meme Lilly’s.”
“You’re not living anywhere but with me,” I told her. “I promise.” That seemed to settle her. Her tears finally quietened. She was wiping her eyes when I asked, “What’s Bubby doing?”
“Looking around,” she answered with a sniffle. “He’s happy now. It’s okay, Bubby.” I stared in the mirror to see her leaning across the middle to grab Eli’s hand.
I cried all over again.
_____
In my panic state, I never got the chance to speak to Elijah that day. It wasn’t until I saw him stepping out of his house that I remembered we were supposed to go to his mom’s. He must have been looking for us.
He doesn’t need my troubles, I told myself as I stepped out and opened the back door to get Eli.
He didn’t need my burdens with that giant smile on his face as he walked toward us. Then slowly, like ours, his smile dimmed as his gaze swept over me. I picked up Eli from his seat. Walking over to Lucy’s side, I couldn’t look at Elijah because the tears were on the verge of falling again.
“Hadley.” I didn’t answer him when he spoke. I helped Lucy unbuckle her straps, and she climbed out. “Lucy.” She looked up at him. “What’s wrong?” Her eyes darted from me to Elijah, clearly torn, afraid she was doing something wrong. It took less than a day for Scott and his mother to crush Lucy’s spirit.
“Go on,” I croaked.
She didn’t waste a second after that. Lucy ran and jumped at Elijah who lifted her up. “What’s wrong?” he said again. Instead of answering, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Come here, Hadley.” His voice was soft yet firm. I glanced down. Staring directly at him would make me crack.
Three seconds was all it took for him to step closer, then he squished Eli and me to him and Lucy. “Y’all need a hug or some shit?” Lucy’s giggle vibrated the parts of me that were touching her. “Even Eli is red-nosed and teary-eyed. I want to know who did this.”
She pushed off his chest a little to see his face. “Are we going to your mom’s house?”
He glanced at me. “Ask your mom.”
She turned around and asked, “Are we, Mom?”
