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CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Gaetano carried a breakfast tray containing hot coffee, slices of blood orange, and a freshsfogliatella, a layered pastry shaped like a shell with candied orange and lemon peels, Maria’s favorite. The boys were playing happily in their room.
“Good morning, Maria,” Gaetano said quietly, opening the door to the bedroom. “I thought I would bring you something to eat.”
“Good morning.” Maria looked over without meeting his eye. Her face showed the strain of fresh grief, and her eyes were bloodshot. Her dark hair was in a long braid, and she had on her pink nightgown with lace at the collar.
“How are you feeling?” Gaetano set the tray down on the bed. “Any pain?”
“No more, I’m just tired.” Maria wasn’t given to complaint, but Gaetano knew she was in agony, emotional if not physical.
“Maria, I have so much to say to you.”
“That’s how I feel. I have so much to say toyou.”
“Would you like to eat first?” Gaetano asked, newly awkward around her.
“No, I’d like to talk first, but I don’t want to argue.” Maria met hiseye with openness and honesty, and Gaetano felt the strength of his love for her, in that one look.
“Our arguing days are over, Maria. I was up all night, praying, and I have to say to you, first, I’m so very sorry.” Gaetano felt tears in his eyes, unshed. “What happened yesterday was my fault. I should have been here. I love you with all my heart, and I love our boys. I will spend my life asking you for forgiveness. I will spend my life praying to God for His.” Gaetano braced himself to say the next words. “I’m stopping my investigation about the kidnappings. I learned from this loss, Maria. My first duty is to you and to our family, I know that now. I lost my way, but I’ve found it again.” Gaetano wiped his eyes, and at that moment spotted a suitcase packed in the corner of the room. “Maria, are you leaving me? I can make this right, I swear to you. Please don’t go.”
“I have to go, and I will.” Maria held up her delicate hand. “I made up my mind, and you can’t change it.”
“Please don’t, I’ll beg you if I have to—”
“Gaetano, let me speak.” Maria kept her hand up. “You always think you’re in court when you’re not.”
“Okay.” Gaetano cleared his throat. He felt as if his Adam’s apple had lodged there. “I’m sorry.”
“I was going to say, what happened to us wasn’t your fault. It was God’s will. He made that choice, and we may not understand it, but we have to respect it. I thought a lot last night, too, and I prayed, too. I learned a lesson from this terrible loss, this terrible,terribleloss of our baby.” Tears filmed Maria’s lovely eyes, but she didn’t cry, either. “What I learned, what I’mlivingnow, is how painful it is to lose a child. I didn’t sleep much last night because I was understanding how that feels, and it made me think of the mother of the kidnapped child. I underestimated her pain, but now I don’t. Now I understand what it’s like to lose a child, because I have, too.”
Gaetano felt the depth of her words, so he didn’t interrupt her.
“I know you’re motivated by a higher calling, to fighting the good fight, like you always say. I admit I was hoping you would change, and when you started your investigation, I disagreed with you. I thought you should have put us first and—”
“And now I am,” Gaetano interrupted.
“—but you were right, and I was wrong.”
Gaetano shook his head. “No, you were right, andIwas wrong.”
Maria smiled, sadly. “You were right to try and find that woman’s child.”
“What? Why?”
“I was at the bakery yesterday and I heard about the second kidnapping. I thought, ‘This will drive Gaetano crazy.’ But I didn’t realize how that felt until I came home from the bakery and lost our child.” Maria’s eyes glazed with grief. “I had an epiphany, Gaetano. A conversion, like your Saint Paul. The scales fell from my eyes. You must do everything you can to find those boys.”
Gaetano felt moved beyond words.
“You mustn’t give up your investigation, ever. Whoever is kidnapping the boys isn’t going to stop until someone stops them. It shouldn’t fall to you, but it has.Thisis your calling, not the priesthood.”
Gaetano felt the truth of her words resonating in his chest.
“One more thing.” Maria gestured to her suitcase. “I’m leaving, but I’m not leavingyou. I’m going to my parents in Messina with the boys. I need to rest and be taken care of. My mother can do it, and it will make her happy.” Maria smiled briefly. “You have to find those boys and bring their kidnappers to justice. I know you can do it, because there’s no man smarter than you, or stronger than you, or with more heart than you. You’ll leave no stone unturned, and you’ll finish the race.”
Gaetano felt tears brimming, loving her with all of his heart and soul. She was giving him a gift of total understanding, acceptance, and love.
“And, Gaetano, you have to do it to honor the memory of the baby we lost. We have to find meaning in this terrible grief, and this is theway. Do itforthe baby we lost.” Tears spilled from Maria’s eyes. “Butdo it.”
