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“Believe what you will.”
The hurt fades. But the sympathy lingers. It makes him sick that in the end, Arsene is just like him—a dog under someone else’s orders. The only difference is he’s blind to it. Nur wants to shake him. What if they didn’t play this little game of dominance? They could be dogs together. Imperfect, wilful fools.
Or maybe Nur is the only fool.
Chapter 18
ARSENE
The oasis is a lush,green gash dug into the dry earth, overlooked by damp, craggy cliffs that are too steep for the wagons to descend. The caravan is forced to leave them at the top of the cliff. They’ll stay long enough to refill their supplies—however long it takes. The valley looks idyllic, but Arsene doesn’t trust idyllic. Myra only shakes her head when he tries to bring it up again.
“Stay a day. Two days, at most. You’re their leader—surely they have to obey, for their own good,” he presses.
She’s unyielding. “Ileadthem. I don’t dictate what the committee does. I’m here to guide them and keep them safe. That’s why I agreed with your people to bring you in the first place.”
“You won’t be able to keep them safe if we run into a swarm down here,” he says grimly.
“We need supplies and that’s that,” Myra says firmly.
The conversation is over before Arsene can get his words in order, leaving him floundering. The humans behave as if fate will guide them, but Arsene is the one who has to protect the caravan. And he feels frustratingly inadequate.
Beyond that, if he fails…it’s all over.
That night when Nur reaches for him, sleepy from being woken and unfairly soft, heat radiating off him enticingly, Arsene ducks out of range.
“Huh?” Nur blinks sleep from his eyes.
Arsene’s stomach twists. He’s itching to press the argument that sparked between them until it blossoms into a bruise.He’s a distraction. I need to stay focused.
“None of that while we’re here,” he says roughly.
“But—feeding?” Nur rasps.
Of course that’s what he cares about. “No. I must be at full strength, not…distracted.”
Nur’s gaze clears. Then he scowls. “Right. No feeding for days and days, just so you can pretend you’re in control.”
“I am in control.” Arsene forces his voice to stay even. “I’m in control of our agreement. I want us to keep watch every second of the day. Nothing can get past us. If there’s danger, we assemble the humans in one place for defence.”
Nur sits up. “How do you expect me to do that if you’re not feeding me?”
“It’s not about you,” Arsene hisses.
“Well, it’s certainly not aboutyou, is it?” Nur snorts. He yanks his boots on and pushes past Arsene. “You know, that’s the reason they don’t listen to you. You think there’s a hierarchy of whose opinion should matter most. The humans aren’t like that. They listen to each other and trust each other—they’re equals. Not that you would understand what it is to be someone’s equal.”
Arsene grits his teeth. “Equality is archaic. The Seraphim Council has absolute command over New Yden, and under their rule it flourishes. Equality would cause nothing but dissent and chaos, like it does here?—!”
He’s abruptly silenced when Nur’s hand descends on his mouth.
“Stop it! Stop. I can’t stand hearing that drivel come out of your mouth.” Nur is close enough that his hot breath burns. “Sometimes you’re so blind. Do you really believe the Council serves all your people, or just an elite few? I don’t even think it servesyou. You’re so attached to the order of command, but they’d leave you holding the grenade when it’s about to go off.”
An unwanted shudder runs through him, and he tears Nur’s hand away from his mouth. But before he can reply Nur is gone, leaving a rush of cold air in his wake.
Nur is wrong. He has to be. The Council provides stability and structure. They established a new social order when vergis and primus arose after the cataclysm, instead of letting New Yden fall into civil war between primus and nulls. And when the war started, they trained an army to protect New Yden from demons.
His own inability to fit into their society is just a defect, unique to him.
Their argument sendsNur into a sulk. Arsene does his best to ignore it. He makes Nur keep to a full watch schedule, each of them taking half the day and half the night. The hollow gives him a cool look at the demand, but there’s no rebuttal. He ignores the mounting hunger on the other end of the bond, the nagging voice that suggests he’s withholding his end of their deal out of spite, not sensibility.
