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“Needed it to send Wade a message.”
That, I wasnotexpecting. I go into my texts and pull up the recent text thread with Wade. But there’s nothing there that's recent.
“There’s nothing here?” I hold my phone up to show him.
“I deleted it. I knew you’d get emotional about it. I didn’t have his number.”
“Why do you need his number, Noah?” I say, anger building.
Noah pushes me with painful force down onto my back, so I’m buried into the couch. His large right hand grabs my throat tightly. His eyes have darkened like onyx, with no color to be seen.
“Why are you so bothered about Wade, baby? I’m not enough for you? Hmm?” His words come out hard. He’s pissed.
“I just want to know.”
“No, you don’t. You want to pretend to be this innocent little angel who wants to protect everyone when your actions prove otherwise. I want to know if it's because you miss being with him. Miss being cheated on and cast aside.” he rubs his nose up and down my cheek.
“No, I don’t miss him.”
“Or do you want to be on your own in that empty house? Living with guilt that isn’t yours. Feeling sorry for yourself.”
“No!”
“No?”
“You’re being cruel. You said you would never hurt me.”
“I’m not hurting you. I’m being truthful and making you look in the mirror. You can’t hide from me, baby. You love me. You get off on my obsession that I watch you, notice everything about you. How I fuck you. And best of all, you secretly love how far I’ll go to keep you.”
I’m speechless. Are his words cruel? Yes. But they’re honest.
“I’m still scared, Noah,” I whisper.
“Scared of me? Or scared of finally accepting who you are?”
“Scared of myself. How did you do this to me? Change me to this other person?”
“I didn’t. I just brought those feelings to life. It was always there, baby.”
Is he right? Is this who I’ve been all along? I highly doubt it. Noah got me at my most vulnerable and has played me well. I know that. Yet his words always convince me otherwise as my need for him blocks out all sanity.
“Say it,” he says, lips touching mine.
“My shadow.”
Then he kisses me, sweeps me off my feet, takes me off to another world in just one kiss. I’m so tired. Tired of pretending that anything he did would matter. The bottom line is I would do anything for him, and he would quite literally do anything to keep me.
A buzzer from the door interrupts our prelude to sex, but we don’t say anything else about what we’ve spoken about. Noah goes to the door to grab our food, and I will sit here and ignore whatever it is he has in store for Wade.
CHAPTER 43
NOAH
After I followed Chase to work and waited for him to walk in, I finally felt like we had made progress. His reaction to the phone last night pissed me off, I want him focused on us and nothing else. But after our conversation and me fucking his brains out in the shower, he seemed a lot more peaceful. I was waiting for the side looks and questions today about Wade, but they never came. This morning, he looked happy and asked me what time I would be over tonight. I have a little plan, which I hope will surprise him. As I learn more about Chase, he definitely enjoys being told what to do in the bedroom and likes the struggle. Maybe tonight, the shadow will truly come out to play.
I need to get to the house sooner than Wade, and without any arguments, Chase let me keep his phone. He ordered a new one with a new number last night, since I plan to destroy his once today is over. A fresh start all around.
The journey isn’t too bad and the traffic gods are on my side. If I didn’t use this house for other means, I would consider upgrading it to live in as I love the isolation here. I make sure to park at the rear of the property—behind the outbuilding, soWade doesn’t spot my car—and remove what I need from the trunk. My baseball bat, gloves, an eight-inch sharp knife, and a spare set of clothes, since I used my last set after the Bobby incident.
